


The Best Week of My Life

by Itsmedusty1980



Category: Messa, Teriah
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-01-30 02:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12644637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsmedusty1980/pseuds/Itsmedusty1980
Summary: Mariah reluctantly accepts her mothers offer to send her on a world class vacation. She wasn’t expecting to meet the mysterious and beautiful Tessa, who makes her rethink everything about who she is and what she wants.





	1. Chapter 1

Hello all. This is my first fanfiction. I’m not sure I am doing this right, but I have seen on several I have read where people put a little disclaimer. So... I do not own the Young and The Restless or any of the characters.

I have taken some liberties with the characters. You should know that Mariah is not a twin and was never in a cult. She grew up in foster care. Devon is still married to Hilary. Also, Sharon and Nick are still married.

I hope you like my interpretation of my favorite couple Teriah / Messa.

 

Chapter 1

Man, I am so screwed. I am so late for work and not for the first time this month. I jump into my jeans and run a brush through my fiery red hair. Throwing my hair into a messy bun I run downstairs and out the door.

Driving to work I know my boss Hilary will rip me a new one. That is nothing new. If I’m honest with myself, I know I don’t want to work there anymore. It was such a fun job when I started there. GC Buzz was a local TV show that was basically a gossip rag. We catered to an audience that loves juicy news; the messier the better. For the most part, even though the shows were fraught with shameless gossip and personal drama, the stories were undeniably true.

That was… before. Before Hilary took over the show. Well actually, Hilary's insanely rich husband Devon bought her the show. Ha, can you believe that? Most girls would be happy with flowers or jewelry. But not Hilary. A TV show, so she can be the center of attention, is what she wants. And Devon, for his part, gave it to her.

The transition from my old boss Todd to Hilary has been traumatic to say the least. It is nothing for her to fabricate and sensationalize a story to better our ratings. To me, that is wrong. Also, Todd never minded if I came in a little late. He knew I worked a 2nd job with my brother Noah at The Underground Lounge as a bartender. The Underground is Noah's father Nick’s bar, but basically, Noah runs it. There were some nights I didn’t get home till 3:30 in the morning. Hilary could care less. Her exact words were, “If pouring drinks at some bar means more to you than giving this show 110% of your attention, then this is not the job for you.” So…I quit The Underground. The money is significantly better at GC Buzz, and despite Hillary, I still love the atmosphere of a live TV show.

I peeled into the parking lot at exactly 8:05, run upstairs and through the door of the GC Buzz studio. Hilary wis working with her assistant producer discussing today's segment. Without her looking up she says, “Oh look, Mariah’s here. Thank you for gracing us with your presence. Please, explain why you are late…again. Mad cow disease? Flat tire?” She looks up with a mocking expression, “Oh wait, let me guess, your dog ate your alarm clock.” She stands up, crossed her arms and glares at me.

“I’m sorry Hilary, I overslept. I could give you plenty of excuses, but I won’t waste your time. Can I get your coffee?”

I’m not really sure what happens next. I, legit, am seeing red. I know for sure Hilary is throwing criticisms at me from everything angle. She is saying something about how dreadfully I make her coffee. There is something about how my hair is so red that I look like a strawberry and I need highlights…or is it lowlights? She definitely says something about my clothes and how I need to learn how to dress since I am representing her and the GC Buzz brand. At this point something snaps inside me. I know I should ignore her. I have actually gotten really good at tuning her out. But, in this moment, I have had enough. I ball my fists, turn around and lose my damn mind.

“Listen, you miserable excuse for a human. I have had enough of you attacking me personally. I am sick of you thinking that because you own this show that you are the most amazing television host since Julie Chen. You forget that you know nothing of this business and that the only reason you own it is because your lap dog Devon bought it for you. You think you deserve to be here? Reality check Hilary, you are here to keep you out of your husband’s hair. This job? It is no longer worth the aggravation of dealing with you.” Possessed with something beyond any reason or control I grab a full bottle of water and pour it over her head.

For a moment, Hilary just stands there in suspended animation. Shock is etched across her face. Her hair is flat and her makeup is running down her face. Then comes the eruption. “YOU BITCH! I'm shooting in 5 minutes. I can’t go on air like this!”

I smirk at her, feeling triumphant. Leaning in I look her square in the eyes and say, “Sorry, that's not my problem. I QUIT!” Turning on my heal I walk out the door. I hear her screaming at everyone around her to help her clean up.

__________________________________________

 

After the elation of finally telling Hilary exactly how I feel wears off, panic starts to set in. Oh shit, Mariah, what did you just do? You now have no job, very little money and you ROYALLY pissed off the wealthiest man in towns wife and probably the man himself. Uggh, I need a drink.

Considering the hour, I settled for coffee. Slowly, I make my way to my mother’s coffee shop, Crimson Lights. She will love this. She hated me working for Hilary. But, then again, she was the one who had to listen to me complain night after night about how dreadful she was. Oh yeah, my mom will be over the moon about my news.

I walk up to the counter where I see my mom upon arriving. “Hi Honey! What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here?” She walks around the counter and hugs me, smirking when I rolled my eyes.

“Always with the hugs” I groan, pulling away and stiffening.

“Ohh, cut it out, Mariah. I’m your mother, and I’m happy to see you. I will hug you if I want.”

“Yeah, Yeah, but do you have to squeeze so hard? Your gonna crack my ribs.” After 4 years of knowing my mother, you would think I would be used to her affectionate nature. To be honest, I do like it; but I can not show it. After being in and out of foster families for all of my childhood, affection is nothing I am use to. In my experience, anyone who wanted to touch me then, either wanted to hit me, or get in my pants. So the first time my mother tried to hug me, I shoved her and told her to never touch me again. It took a long time for me to stand it. Now, secretly I crave it. I want my mom to hold me and tell me everything will be OK. That foster girl is to much a part of who I am to ever admit that though.

“So… how bout a coffee sweetie. And why are you here? Did Hilary the Tyrant’s espresso machine break down?”

“Yes please!” I say, eyes widening as I reached for the steaming cup. I greedily hover over the cup and take a sip. “I swear mom, you make the best coffee known to man,” I mutter with eyes closed, “and no, Hilary’s espresso machine is still frothing away. At least, I think it is anyway. I wasn’t there long enough to find out.”

“So, then why are you here?” She looks at me quizzically.

“Well…” I look up guiltily.

“What happened Mariah?” Her eyes widening.

“Umm… I quit. I walked right out. Sayonara evil boss lady. And hey, choke on this water as I pour it over your head. I did too, mom. I poured a whole bottle of water right over her head. God, did that felt great!”

My mother’s eyes progressively get larger as I tell my story, and by the time I’m finished, they were the size of saucers. Just as I finish she busts out laughing.

“Oh my God, you didn’t!”

“Oh, but I did. Not sure what I’m going to do now though. You hiring?”

“Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. You’re not changing the subject that quick,” She says, and grabs my arm and hauls me to the nearest booth to sit down. “I want every detail; leave nothing out. No tidbit is too little.”  
So, I tell her. I tell her how I was feeling on my ride in this morning; about everything Hilary said to me and how I snapped, culminating with a bottle of water over her head. By the end, she is laughing so hard, tears are rolling down her face.

“She must have looked like a drowned Chihuahua,” she bellows between laugh sobs. “Oh God, baby. You are my daughter,” she says, shaking her head back and forth.

“Yeah,” I mutter, sitting back, equal parts smug and equal parts defeated, “I’m your daughter who is newly unemployed. I mean, I know my bills are minimal because I’m living with you, but I can’t stay with you forever. I’m 26 years old mom.”

“Honey, please don’t look at it that way.” She grabs my hand and meets my eyes. “I missed out on the first 22 years of your life. Having you with me now, its everything. Everything I’ve dreamt about. I know sometime you will meet someone, move out, and start your own family, but for now…now, this is our time, ok?”

I look away. How could this kind, sweet woman be my mother? When I was a kid, I dreamt my parents would show up and whisk me away. I would dream it was all a mistake. They would take me home and all the horrors of foster care would disappear. But as I grew older, I knew that would never happen. Eventually I came to hope that my parents were either drug addicts or had died and that’s why I was there. The truth however, was much more predictable. My mom had been young and my father was an asshole. At 15, she thought the best she could give me was a chance with people who were ready for a child. But that didn’t happen. I had been adopted. For the first 5 years of my life I was loved and taken care of. But then my adoptive mother got sick and died. My adoptive father couldn’t stand the thought of keeping me. I guess I reminded him of everything he had lost. So back into the system I went. And that is where I stayed until my 18th birthday.

Lost in my thoughts, I don’t hear my mom speaking until she waved her hand in front of my face. Blinking, I look at her and give her a small smile. “Thanks mom, its nice knowing I’m welcome with you.”

With my hand in hers she just looks at me for a long moment. I know she wants to say more. She wants to assure me that I was loved then, and that I am loved now. She tells me that all the time. She knows that my past makes me hesitant to accept her words. So she has painstakingly showed me. She shows me in a million little ways everyday. Every time she asks to spend time with me I believe more and more that she wants me around. Every time she has defended me to my new found family about my less than personable personality, I see the fierce mama bear that can only be coming from someone who loves me with her whole heart. Slowly, I have been able to accept she loves me and truly wants me to be a part of her life.

She has been so clear about her love for me that I have been able to push aside the jealousy and anger I felt when I found out about my brother and sister she had with her husband. I have been able to stop thinking about them as her other family and start to think of them as my own.

“Honey...”

“I know mom.” I say. And I do.

I can see she is close to tears, so I look away and and change the subject. “What am I going to do now mom? I wonder if Noah needs a new bartender.”

“I have an idea, but I’m not sure you will go for it.”

“I was just kidding when I asked if you were hiring. I love you, but I don’t want to work for you.” I laugh.

“No, no. That’s not what I meant. Why don’t you take some time off honey. You work so hard. I don’t think you have taken more than a long weekend since you came back into my life. Let me pay for an amazing vacation. 2 weeks of fun, sun, and sand. What do you say?” She looks at me, hope pouring out of her eyes.

“2 Weeks?! Are you crazy? I cant do that when I have no job. I need to get my resume out. I don’t have time for 2 days, never mind 2 weeks.” I don’t want to let her down, but I could never relax when I have no security in my finances.

“I can understand that,” she says. “Hmmmm,” she presses her index finger to her lips and I can see her wheels turning. “Ok, call your brother. I know you don’t want to work with him forever, BUT, if you have a job lined up to come back to, will you please let me do this for you? Paaaallleeeaaaassseeee?”

It is too much. It’s clear that this is important to her and I really do need to get away. “Fine, but 1 week mom. That’s the longest I can be away.” I say with exaggerated strained patience.

“Eeee!!!!” She claps her hands in glee. “Ok, you go talk to your brother. I will make all the plans.” She floats off with a huge smile plastered to her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next week flies by in a flurry of plans, packing, excitement and nerves. My mother has planned an all expense paid Caribbean cruise, and I’m excited to get away. The more I think about it, the more I know I need this.

Bringing my suitcases down from my room I see my mother waiting to send me off. 

“Ok, you have your passport right?” She stands there, eyes looking at a list in hand.

“Oh shit, I forgot that.” She glances up, to see me smirking. “Mom, for the 15th time, I have everything; sunscreen, 3 bathing suits, dress up clothes, sleeping clothes, and everything else you said I need... including 2 books that I’m still not sure why I need on a cruise ship.”

“Ok, ok...” she says exasperated. “I just want to make sure you have the best week of your life baby. Forgive me for being pushy.”

“I know. And I love you for it. But I’m ready, and if I don’t leave soon I will miss my flight. And before you ask, yes, I reserved the car for me to drive from the airport to port. Now come give me a bone crushing hug, it will have to last you a while.” I wink at her as she scoffs.

__________________________________

My flight is smooth and uneventful, and before I know it we are landing in Miami. I’m grateful the airport signs are plentiful because the layout is confusing and there are people everywhere. Finally, I find the car rental kiosk. I pay the extra $15 for the navigation system. I’m a good driver, but the only bigger city I’ve driven in is Genoa City. 

Slowly, my nerves start to settle over me and I start to doubt my desire to go. I have never done anything like this. Oh, I’ve been on vacations, but nothing more than a road trip with my friends. Here I am, about to embark on a cruise; by myself! What am I thinking?! What if I get left on some port of call, what if I get kidnapped? Or what if the ship is boarded by pirates? What if the damn boat sinks!

Realizing I’m starting to hyperventilate, I decide to do the only rational thing I can... I pull over and call my mom. I find the nearest gas station, and pull all the way to the back of the lot. If I’m going to lose my mind I’d rather do it in private. After 2 rings my mom cheerfully answers. 

“Hi honey! Have you already gotten to Miami? The boat is massive isn’t it? Oh, I am so excited for you. WAIT until you try the drinks...”

“Mom,” I try to interject.

“1 drink Mariah, and you will hit the deck. HAHAHA, get it? Deck?”

“Mom!” I say a bit more forcefully.

“And the food... oh God, you can not even imagine the food. They have deserts from every country. The endless buffet is beyond words. When Nick and I went we joked we would have to be rolled off the boat. Don’t you dare even dream of trying to eat healthy this week honey. Pig out, We will hit the gym...”

“MOM!!!!!” I scream, and finally get her attention.

“Wha...What?” She stammers out, puzzled.

I feel bad for yelling at her, but good God! Sometimes you can’t shut her up. “I don’t think I can do this mom. I keep imagining all the things that could go wrong and... It’s freaking me out.” 

For a moment I’m not sure she heard me, but then I hear a long, deep sigh. “Oh honey, I’m sorry your scared. You shouldn’t be. I’m sure once you are on that boat you will have the time of your life. You have been working for that witch for so long. You need to learn to have fun again. Please give this a chance. I promise, this is exactly what you need.”

“I wish you could have come with me.” I whine. “I’m not going to know anyone. I really don’t like people as it is. Now I’m going to be trapped on a tiny boat with 6000 strangers! What was I thinking?!

“HA,” my mother barks out laughing. 

“I’m glad my melt down is so amusing for you.” I bite back, irritation dripping from my voice.

“I’m sorry honey, but I have to assume you have not gotten to port yet. Am I right?”

“Yeah, and? Your really missing my point here mom... Would you please listen! Small boat, me, 7 days... I’m not going.” I say resigned to head home. 

“Ok, ok,” she says and I can tell she is holding back another giggle. “Listen, there is nothing little about a cruise ship. Especially the one you will be on. Its the largest cruise liner in the world. It is literally a floating city. Unless you choose to, you don’t have to see the same person twice all week. However.. you may find your beautiful self swept away by a sexy stranger and have the best week of your life.” 

“I highly doubt that...” I don’t ‘get swept away’, and certainly not in a week. I have had exactly one relationship. He and I were friends for a long time and after a while, the natural progression of things led us to try a relationship. If I’m honest, it never felt romantic. He was my best friend and I didn’t want to lose him. In the end, I couldn’t do it anymore and I lost him anyway.

“Fine, but you can at least get pampered everyday. Enjoy all that a cruise has to offer honey. I promise you, you won’t regret it.” 

Realizing I am not going to win, I acquiesce. “Ok, Ok, I’ll go. But if I have a miserable time, I’m coming for you. Consider yourself warned.” I am trying to sound tough, but as usual, she is making me feel better. Some of the enthusiasm I had felt is seeping back in. I put my car in reverse and back out of my spot. 

“That’s the spirit baby!” She says excitedly. “Now go have the time of your life.”

“Thanks mom”, I smile into the receiver. “I will text you before I board. I heard the fees for using my phone on the ship are outrageous. That will be the last time you hear from me for a while.”

Hanging up I look at my map. 2 hours and 12 minutes. I can do this... I can do this... I can do this. I turn up the radio and laugh at the irony as Tracy Chapman croons about giving her one reason before she turns right back around.

_______________________________________________________

45 minutes later I park my car in the garage designated for cruisers. I have never been to Miami and am amazed at how incredible it is. Everything is crisp and perfect. Palm trees perfectly spaced apart, line the streets. The sidewalk is meticulously manicured. Not one stone is out of place. 

What really shocks me is the fact that everyone I pass on the street looks runway ready. They are all, almost, too perfect. Men walk by with crisp chinos, pressed dress shirts and penny loafers. Their hair is gelled to perfection outlining perfectly unlined faces. They are attractive, but they must spend more time primping daily than I do in a whole week!

Even more amazing is the woman. I feel as though I have teleported to Milan and stumbled onto a runway. They all wear long flowing skirts, perfectly beaded or embroidered halter tops, showing off tight and tan stomachs. Their eye liner creates an assortment of looks rivaling the best makeup artists in the world. Do people really dress like this daily? Where the hell am I? 

Thankfully, there are signs everywhere pointing me in the right direction. The last thing I need is get lost. I walk around a big building and gasp, feet rooted in place. In front of me is a massive ship. Towering over me is deck after deck and I now understand why my mom was laughing when I said this was a tiny ship. Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I pull up my camera app and take a selfie next to it. I send it to her, captioned, “Ok, Ok... I get it now. I’m not sure how it floats, but ‘Tiny” it is not. Love you!”

The rest of the check-in process goes smoothly. All the workers, whom are called ‘porters’, are so nice. I mean, I get it is there job, but WOW! Before I know it, I’ve joined the throngs of people being ushered up a long ramp. As we crest the top and I get my first view on board my jaw goes slack. INCREDIBLE! Turning my head in a panoramic view, I am floored by how beautiful this is. They thought of everything. Immense wooden walls carved with tribal designs. There are trees... yes trees lining our path giving the illusion of walking through a forest. Just ahead, at the end of the path there is a waterfall that looks to have come from thin air. As the soft mist from the fall hits me I am starting to hear steel drums. I’ve never been a fan of them. The few times I have heard them before I found them to be mildly annoying. But here, in this setting, it works. 

The line finally piles into an enormous room. I swear, it is at least 3 football fields long. It is here that at least 4000 people are congregating and still piling in.

After a few minutes, I notice that several people in tan khaki pants and bright tropical shirts are weaving their way though the crowd. Some are offering refreshments and others the opportunity to have their bags brought to their room. 

“Hello,” a smiling woman with jet black hair and striking green eyes, says to me. “Would you like me to take your bags to your cabin?”

“Sure,” I say smiling. “Thank you. Do you know where to find my cabin?”

“Well no, not yet. But when you boarded you were given a keychain with a chip on it. This is going to be everything you need for the week. If you get room service, or drinks, or any onboard entertainment, you will just hand them this. At the end of the week, we cash it out and you pay as you leave. So if you give me that, I can scan it and then I will know your cabin number.”

“So that’s what that is for.” I say moving my purse and duffel bag to my other arm. I reach into my pocket and pull out the keychain. Smiling, she touches it to a scanner and looks at the screen. 

“Well... you, Mariah Copeland, are in the Rainforest Suite. I will bring your bags there now. Unless, of course, there is anything else I can do for you?”

Something in her voice makes me look up at her. I don’t know why, but I don’t want her to leave just yet. Its like I know her, but that’s ridiculous. Thinking quick I say, “Uh, yeah actually, why are we all in this room?”

Leaning down a little, she meets my eyes and gives me a crooked smile. “Well Ms. Copeland, you are here to go over safety protocol and some of the more mundane information. I, uh, we want you to focus on having the best week of your life. ” With that, she winks at me, grabs my bags and heads off to what I assume is my room.


	3. Chapter 3

After 30 minutes of information that you hope to never need to know, but feel safer for knowing, we are released to start our cruise. The other passengers slowly push their way through the crowd and disperse to other areas of the ship. Making my way to the edge of the room, I decide to wait for the bodies to thin out. I have never been a fan of large groups of people, the last thing I want to do is push my way through these people. Finally I can see the other side of the room and I decide to go to my room. After a day of traveling, all I want is a shower and to change out of these clothes. 

I ask one of the crew members where to find my room as I hand her my keychain. She scans it and with a big smile on her face, gives me directions. As I walk through the ship my excitement grows. I always thought of cruises as being for old people. I pictured shuffle board, fancy cocktail dresses and old men in stuffed up suits. My assumptions proved to be way off base and I am pleased to find people of all ages, laughing and carrying on. Everyone’s energy is fantastic and I’m starting to believe that this week is going to amazing. 

Deciding to make a pit stop for a drink, I walk into a bar by the pool. Inside, it is brightly colored and has a funky vibe. Every bar stool is a different color and the bar top is made of surf boards. The walls and ceiling are deep blue with mirrors everywhere giving the illusion we are immersed under the sea. If we were not floating on the sea, this would not make me feel as uneasy as it does, but I push my fear down and walk over to the bar. 

The bartender is clad in board shorts and a tropical t-shirt. Smiling he says, “Hello, hello! And welcome to ‘Kahunas’, my name is Oli. It’s good to have you aboard, Miss. What can I get for you?”

I love his Jamaican accent and feel at ease right away. He is so chipper, and I smile immediately. “Hey Oli, name’s Mariah. I would love a drink. Something fruity and strong. Got anything like that?”

“Oh yes Mariah, I have just the beverage. You sit, and I will fix you just the drink.” He slaps a napkin in front of me and spins around. Having been a bartender, I admire his technique. He does not need to measure the ingredients and does not spill a drop. Flipping the bottles over his head I am mesmerized by his ability. Noah would kill to have this guy for the Underground. “So, how many cruises have you been on?”

“Oh, this is my first one.” I say as my eyes grow wide watching him put fruit on a umbrella preparing to garnish my drink. Is that a pineapple shaped like dolphin? They really pull out all the stops. That must have taken forever!

“Really? Your first one? You must be incredibly excited. I’ve spoken to many passengers and they always say, no matter how many cruises you go on, no matter what the destination, you will always remember the first, the most.” He beams. 

“I’ve honestly never seen myself taking a cruise. My mom planned this for me. Now that I’m aboard though, I can tell you, I am so glad I’m here. Any suggestions for me? What do I have to try?” 

“This is really a great first cruise. We have much entertainment and the night life onboard is world class. I’m not sure how the cruise line managed it, but we have one of the best singers I have ever heard on our staff. I’m surprised she agreed to sign with us, but when you hear her, you will never forget her voice.” He gushes.

Hearing how highly he speaks of this singer, I wonder why he is surprised she chose to be here. Curiosity winning, I ask, “Why are you surprised? Is this not a good job?”

“Oh no, no Mariah, this.... this is a fantastic job. We travel the seas and islands. We meet new people who are having the best time, all the time. I would not trade this job for anything. But, when you work on a cruise ship, it is not like taking a cruise, if you get my meaning. We have small quarters. We work long days, and do many tasks. Today, you see, I am a bartender. Tomorrow, I am a lifeguard. The next day, it may be something different. We also have to sign six month contracts. It is all worth it to me, because I love being out here on the ocean. For this singer I told you about, she will sing most nights. But also, she will be a server for meals, and have other duties as well. Someone with her talent, I’m surprised she is not on the mainland pursuing a recording contract. You will see when you hear her. She is that good.”

Listening to him gush about the singer, I’m excited to see what all the fuss is about, so I say, “So.... when and where does she sing?” 

“She is going to be at ‘Ivory Keys’ tonight at 7. As much as I know you would have a blast here, you should check her out. You won’t be sorry you did.”

Sucking up the last of my delicious cocktail, I stand up. Glancing at my phone I see its nearly 5. “Well Oli, thank you for the amazing drink and conversation. I still have to make it to my room, shower and change. If I’m going to see this singer, I had better head out to find my room.” Waving, I turn around and head off for my room.   
___________________________________________________

When I finally locate my cabin, I’m floored by how nice it is. From the research I did before arriving, cruise ship cabins are known to have just enough room for a twin size bed and a tiny bathroom. When I walk in, however, the first thing I see is a floor to ceiling glass wall running the length of the large living space. I’m looking at 180 degrees of azure blue sea. It is magnificent. When I finally break my gaze away from the sea, I look at the rest of my room. I see I have a king size bed covered in pillows, a full size couch, a desk, and a sliding glass door that goes to a deck. Shaking my head, I walk over to a door that leads to an oversized bathroom complete with a walk in shower and claw foot tub. I have never, in my life, seen anything so luxurious. 

For a moment, I am stunned with awe. I know my mother wanted me to have an amazing trip, but this is too much. I am going to have to willingly give her a hug and heartfelt thank you when I see her again. But for now, I’m going to enjoy the hell out of my temporary digs. 

Finally snapping out of my trance, I walk over to my suitcase. I unpack my clothes and toiletries and jump in the shower. I want to stay in here forever! I have never seen so many jets coming from all angles. I see a steam option that I will definitely be trying later. For now though, I hurry and wash up. 

Once dressed and ready for my first night aboard, I grab my clutch and head out the door. Slowly I walk through the cabin corridor and make my way to the pool deck. I stop one of the crew members and ask where to find Ivory Keys. She gives me detailed directions and I head off, up one deck. Here I find several restaurants and night clubs. There are people everywhere. Families, lovers, friends and for the first time since arriving, I am wishing my mother had come along. I’m certainly not going to let that ruin my evening though, and I walk around the corner. 

Up ahead i see a sign that looks to be a huge piano with the keys strewn in such a way that they say IVORY KEYS. Smiling, I make my way to the door. Walking in, the first thing I notice is how nice it is in here. There are leather couches surrounding the stage. The stage itself is raised and a full sized grand piano sits in the middle of it. The bar is a winding piano itself. All the bartenders are dressed in full tuxedos. Suddenly, I feel under dressed and out of place. Looking at my phone I see it is quarter of 7. I still have 15 minutes before the singer Oli told me about is going to start so I decide to go outside and walk around for a few minutes. 

Standing, I head out the door and make my way down the promenade. Passing all the shops and restaurants I start mentally making a list of everything I want to do this week. 

Enjoying my time I keep walking past the store fronts and to the edge of the ship. The weather is perfect. There is a light breeze and the smell of the ocean is intoxicating. I can not believe I never knew that I loved the ocean, but now that I do, I promise myself I will make a point to do this more often. 

“Hey Mariah.” A friendly voice behind me calls. “How are you enjoying your first night aboard?” 

Startled, I whirl around. I’m pleasantly surprised to see Tessa, the crew member who brought my bags to my room standing a few feet behind me. “Oh, you startled me,” I say, with my hand on my chest. “It is amazing. Who knew a cruise was so much fun.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to jump you.” She takes a step forward and smiles apologetically . “I was heading to work and saw you standing here so deep in thought that I had to come say hi. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“No, no, It’s ok. I’m glad you did. Just be a little louder next time so I don’t have a small heart attack over hear. Jeeze girl, your like stealth.” I joke and smile at her. 

She giggles and I’m overwhelmed by deja vu. Again, I feel as though I know this girl and know her well. But she does not look familiar, so I must be losing it. “I really wasn’t that quiet. You were just so lost in though that a freight train could have come though and you wouldn’t have noticed. What were you thinking about over here all by yourself?”

“Honestly, not much. Just that I love the smell of the sea air. It is amazing. I never knew that before today.” I’m surprised when I realize I have taken a step toward her. I never do that. I like my personal space bubble. A good 2 to 3 feet at all times makes me very happy. So, why then am I inching my way closer to this stranger. 

“It really is hypnotic isn’t it? That is one of the reasons I love working here. I get to experience this every day. Granted the crew cabins leave much to be desired, but when I’m up here, I sneak out every chance I get to breathe it in.” As if to demonstrate this, she puts her head back, closes her eyes and mouth and takes a deep breath and I find myself imitating her. 

Slowly I open my eyes and see her looking at me intently, with a strange expression on her face. It is as if I confuse her somehow, but I don’t know why. Just when I am going to say something, she takes a step back and says, “Well, I have to get to work. Have a great night Mariah. I’m sure I will see you around.” With that she turns around and heads off.


	4. Chapter 4

As I watch Tessa’s retreating form I am momentarily frozen in place. I watch as the darkness engulfs her. I watch as she takes the last few steps around the corner, effectively taking her from my view. It is not until I can no longer see her that I feel oxygen flood my lungs. What the hell was that?! Something about this encounter shakes me to my core. Turning back around I grasp the hand rail as if it were a life raft. Taking deep, steadying breaths, I look out to the sea. Clearly, the ocean air is messing with my ability to think.

Several minutes go by and I’m able to put Tessa’s presence, and the effect she has on me out of my mind. Well, not out of my mind, but at least to the back of my mind. I do not let people get to me. I am not going to start now. Certainly not with someone I just met. Not over a woman. Albeit a beautiful woman, with soulful green eyes. 

With a deep breath I resolve to enjoy the rest of my night. I am here, in the middle of the damn ocean, on a floating fucking city. It’s time to start acting like it. With that, I throw my shoulders back and walk with purpose back to Ivory Keys. 

When I walk back into the bar, I notice the vibe is subtly different. All the lights are dimmed and there is a spotlight shining down on the piano. Someone is playing it but the raised lid is blocking my view. Whoever it is is amazing, and everyone watching is in a trace. 

I walk up to the bar and sit on a stool, and work to gain the attention of the bartender. Finally noticing me, he walks over and I order my drink. Waiting for it to be served, I grab a binder that is set on the bar and start to leaf through what appears to be a listing of everything you can do aboard and at ports of call. While contemplating whether I have the balls to try snorkeling, whomever is playing the piano finishes the song and starts another. This time, however I hear the most amazing voice I have ever heard. Snapping my head to the stage, I quickly grow frustrated with my inability to see who is creating this music. 

“Ma’am...” I hear somewhere, seemingly far away. “Ma’am” I hear it a little louder, accompanied by a gentle tap on my hand. Startled I look back at the bartender, blinking back my confusion. “Your drink,” he holds up the glass, “It’s ready.” He smiles and slowly slides it to me. 

“Th...Thank you.” I smile and flush, embarrassed that I completely tuned everything around me out except the need to see whom is singing. I reach for my drink and move away from the bar and walk toward the couches near the stage. 

Spotting an empty armchair that should allow me a clear vantage point to the stage, I quicken my pace, nearly knocking into the back of one of the couches, before finally reaching the seat. Setting my drink and clutch down on the marble table, I turn around and sit down.

I was not prepared for what happened next. I was not prepared to see Tessa singing in front of me. I was not prepared to have the air leave my lungs, for the second time in an hour. And I was definitely not prepared for the jolt of electricity that coursed through me at the sight of her. I have no idea why I have such a visceral reaction to this woman, but I do, and its undeniable. 

Watching her sing I notice that the song she is singing is unlike any I have heard before. It is slow and hauntingly beautiful. I watch as her fingers adeptly manipulate the keys of the piano while keeping her eyes shut. It is clear she feels her music in an all consuming way. 

Finally the lyrics she is singing registers and I am in awe. The song is about a woman who has broken up with someone and is depressed at the loss of love, but decides to remember why she loved the person in the first place. She decides to allow the love to come back to her so she can learn from this experience and let go, realizing that everything happens for a reason and even though it hurts, it was hers. I felt every lyric, every inflection in her tone, and every pain this song brings to her heart. 

When the song slowly comes to a close I feel a deep sense of loss. I have to know if she wrote this about her own experience. I have never loved someone so deeply that it took any effort or processing to get over it. I just moved on. Suddenly, this makes me realize that perhaps I’m missing out on something I should experience. Maybe I need to love someone beyond the surface and let them in. My walls are so firmly in place that it terrifies me to let anyone get a glimpse behind them. But for the first time in my life, I want that. 

Feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes I quickly close them and take a few deep breaths in an attempt to quell the onslaught of emotion coursing through me. A few seconds after the last note rings, I slowly open my eyes to find Tessa’s green eyes boring into me with an expression that is raw and unguarded. Unable to look away, I whisper “WOW”. She smiles with one side of her mouth and looks down. There is thunderous applause as she looks out to the crowd. “Thank you, Thank you so much,” she says with an expression of gratitude as she waves out. 

After a few seconds she gets up from the piano and walks over to a microphone with a guitar resting next to it, centered on the stage. I watch as she takes a deep breath, grabs the guitar and speaks. “Hello,” She smiles a warm and genuine smile, “My name is Tessa Porter. Thank you so much for joining me here tonight. I hope you are enjoying yourselves on the first night of our adventure.” The crowd claps and whistles and Tessa smiles broadly. “Awesome! Tonight, I am going to be singing some of my own music. I am a singer/songwriter. I write songs about my own experiences. Not all of them are about me personally. Some are friends that I watched go through a period in their life, good or bad, and I had to put it to music. I experience the world in music, and I’m going to share my experiences with you. So thank you again, I hope you enjoy the evening. Oh! And don’t forget, Tip your waiter!” The crowd laughs as Tessa takes a step away from the microphone and quickly tunes her guitar. After a few seconds she starts to play, and I’m lost. 

For the next 3 hours I listen to her music. I listen to songs about love. There are songs about never feeling as though she will experience love, or being so in love that she can’t express it. There are songs about nothing, just 2 friends driving around and having fun. It is clear she pours her heart and soul into her music and I have to wonder if that is hard for her. For me, it’s easy to keep what I feel bottled up. I’ve spent my whole life hiding behind my touch facade. Nothing touches me, nothing bothers me, and if it does, I lock it down and plaster a smile on my face, or pick a fight. She is different. She takes her feelings and pours them in her music and that is incredibly brave.

As her last song wraps up I just sit there processing the evening. I have felt more in the past 3 hours than I have in the last 15 years. I make no move to get up or leave. When the waiter comes over and ask if I would like another drink, I snap out of my pondering and politely decline. I need some air and to move, to walk around and clear my head. I grab my clutch and walk out of the bar. Conveniently, I find a walking track that circles the exterior of the ship. I slip out of my shoes, holding them in my hand and start walking. 

Could it be that I’m attracted to her? I mean, sure, she is beautiful and talented but I don’t know her. But don’t I now? After listening to her sing I feel like I know her and better than most people in my life. That is an illusion though. She is not going to write songs about every part of herself, so I, in fact, do not know her. But I want to, and that scares me. I have to be honest with myself and admit that I am attracted to her. HER, a woman. That has never even been on my radar. I am 26 years old. Wouldn’t I have had some clue? Wouldn’t I have found other woman attractive? Maybe it is just her? 

Just as I finish my walk and end up where I started, I look up and find Tessa at the railing where we spoke earlier before her show. She can not see me, as she has her back to me. Slowly, I make my way over to her and quietly admire her silhouette. Her black hair is blowing in the breeze. She is stunning. 

“Hi Mariah,” Tessa whispers.

How did she know it was me? She isn’t even facing me? “How did you...” She turns to face me and she smirks.

“I didn’t. But I hoped, and here you are.” Lightning courses through me at her confession and I take a step closer to her. 

“Oh,” I know my face must be flushed right now, and I hope that it is dark enough that she doesn’t notice. “Your music is amazing”, I blurt without realizing I was going to say that. 

“Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the show.” She says smiling. 

I’m sure she has heard that a million times, so to make my point, I take a step forward and say, “No really, Tessa, your music evoked such an emotional response in me I had to wipe my eyes several times throughout the show to prevent me from looking like a blubbering idiot.” Ok, maybe that was too much. I can’t help it though, she laid herself bare on that stage, so I feel the least I can do is to help her understand how incredible her music really is. 

“You could never look like an idiot,” Tessa shyly remarks, and my heart flutters at her kind words. “I am so happy you felt it so deeply. Most people just hear my music for the pretty sound and melody. They don’t get that I am opening myself up. Like, every time I sing I have to decompress after and get my head right, because it brings those experiences back. For me, its like therapy. Most people don’t get that, ya know?”

“I do,” I take a step forward in an attempt to comfort her. “Can I ask you a question? If its none of my business, just tell me. It’s fine. 

“Of course, ask away.”

“The first song you sang, about needing to remember the good before letting go,” I look up at her. I can not read her expression, but I press on. “Was that an experience you had? Or a friend?”

For a long time I didn’t think she was ever going to answer. She walks back over to the railing and looks deep in thought. Just when I get ready to apologize and tell her she does not have to answer, she says, “I did, but it was a long time ago.”

I walk up behind her and place my hands on the railing beside her. We stand there for a few minutes in complete silence, just enjoying the feel of the breeze. Closing my eyes I enjoy having her next to me. This is something completely new to me but for once I am going to just enjoy this feeling. I’m going to allow the feeling of her shoulders brushing mine and feel the heat coming off her. I’m going to enjoy the heat spread through me and not analyze it. In this moment I don’t care about what this means about who I am. Having Tessa beside me is all I need to know. 

All too soon I feel her stir beside me and I open my eyes to find her looking at me with an expression I can not describe. “Who are you?” she whispers. 

“I...” For a moment I don’t understand, but then she continues.

“Why do I feel like I know you, Mariah? Like I’ve always known you. I have never met you, but I swear that can not be true.” 

She is looking at me with such intensity, and saying the things I was thinking about her earlier. I don’t know how to respond, so I reply honestly. “I know. I feel it too”. 

Slowly she reaches her hand to my face, and brushes a stray piece of hair behind my ear. Did she just look down to my lips? Goosebumps rush over my skin and I realize I’m leaning my head against her hand. Slowly she leans forward and there is no mistaking her staring at my lips. Oh my god, she is going to kiss me. I want her to kiss me. 

What the hell am I doing? I am flooded by the need to get out of here. This is too much. Taking a deep breath I quickly back up. “Uh, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I, uh, I have to go.” I don’t stop as I quickly turn around and walk away. I hear her call me, I hear her apologizing and asking me not to leave. But I can’t stop. This is all just too much.


	5. Tessa

“Mariah, I sorry... please don’t leave.” Dammit! I should go after her. I take a few steps toward her, but when I no longer see her I stop. Frustrated, I run my fingers through my hair. What is wrong with me! Why did I do that? I should have known better than to push so hard. I probably scared her off. I am so mad at myself. I haven’t been attracted to anyone in so long and the first time someone catches my attention I throw myself at her. Ugh! The best thing I can do is just go to my room, so I turn around and stomp off to the crew quarters.

Finally making my way to the kitchen I stop to get a bite to eat, when I hear, “Hey Tessa!” Nope, food is not that important. Not important enough to make me subject myself to Dan, my supervisor. I pretend I don’t hear him and turn around and head to my room. I nearly jump out of my skin when he pops up in front of me. How does he always do that? 

“Hey Tess,” he says with a swarmy smile. “Couldn’t you hear me calling you?”

“You were calling me?” I say, taking a large step backward, hoping he takes the hint. He is always a little too friendly, putting his hands on me squeezing my shoulders, standing a little too close. The sad part is that if he wasn’t such a sleeze, he is actually a nice looking guy. He is tall with bright blue eyes and has a great body. When I first met him, I actually thought he was really handsome. But then he opened his mouth and showed me his personality. That effectively and promptly killed any attraction I may have had towards him. 

“Yeah, I was. You were sure in a hurry. What’s the rush?” He takes a step toward me. God, he is so thick!

“No rush, I just didn’t hear you, Dan” I say with barely contained irritation.

“Oh, It doesn’t matter. I hear you slayed tonight. Way to go kid.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I inwardly cringe. 

“Hey, Thanks. I’m pretty tired though. My shift is over so I’m going to go to bed. I will see you later Dan.” I plaster a fake smile on my face and squeeze past him. 

“You should come hang out with the rest of the crew tonight. We are all hanging out in the...” he says calling after me.

“Not tonight, I’m tired.” I call over my shoulder. 

I finally get to my room and jump up onto my bunk. I flop on my back and throw my arm over my face. I’m happy Sophie is working late tonight because I don’t have the energy to talk. She is alright, but sometimes her bubbly personality drives me crazy. Like, I can be personable when I am with guests, but when I’m in my space I just want to relax and chill. Sophie is all like, “Tessa, isn’t this amazing!” or “Don’t you feel so lucky? We are so lucky”, all the time. It is exhausting. 

I am, actually, happy to be here. Far away from everything and everyone. I know it is exactly what I needed. I had fallen into a rut back home, not doing anything with my life, and letting my dreams slip further and further away. My cousin Tony suggested that I apply for this job, and while hesitant at first it started to sound appealing. 6 months of getting out of my own way; 6 months of me and my music; and most importantly 6 months of not thinking about Abby. I knew the longer I stayed where I was, the worse I would get. So I applied, not caring if I was washing dishes or scrubbing toilets, as long as I could get away from home and away from her. 

I was floored when I found out my main gig would be singing. I have been working towards a music career for, practically, my whole life. So I took this as a sign that I made a step in the right direction. I still have to serve at mealtime and do room service from time to time. Sometimes, bartending is actually fun. Being around people having fun seeps in and allows me to relax. My main assignment is entertainment though and it couldn’t be more amazing. Now I am 2 months in to my 2nd 6 month contract and overall, I am very happy. 

I have saved a ton of money because my room and board is covered by the cruise line. I have access to all the amenities on board. I just have to wait till they are closed to passengers. The best part about being here though is that I have been able to put Abby behind me. I have processed everything and let the love we shared be a tool for my future and not a heaviness on my heart. 

Now 3 years later, I am able to stop seeing her in bed with my best friend every time I close my eyes. I now can take my own responsibility in why she did it. Yeah, I know she never should have slept with her before talking to me about how unhappy she was. But she showed me everyday, and I couldn’t or wouldn’t see it. Every time I asked her to come out to some bar I had a gig at and she would complain that she didn’t want to be out every night, I would pressure her to support my dream. When she would beg me to get up and go hiking with her at 6 in the morning, but I had just gone to bed, I would just groan and roll over. It took a long time for me to realize, that our demise was not just her fault. Now, I can honestly say I hope she is happy and loved the way she deserves to be. 

In a weird twist of fate, not only have I healed myself from the worst heartache of my life, I have also written song after song aboard this ship. Something about this environment opens me up and allows my soul to pour onto paper. I have become an artist, whereas before I was a girl with a really good voice. Most nights, it feels that everyone still sees me as that girl. ‘Hey, you are a really good singer, do you know Chandelier by Sia?” Or ‘You would do amazing singing covers of Pink.’ I smile and say thank you and ‘oh yeah, your right, I should try that out.’ But that’s not who I am. I want to sing my music, on my terms and I want people to want that from me.

So when Mariah told me she felt my music... emotionally, I was stunned. Here was this girl that I have been drawn to before I knew her name connecting to my music. Thinking back to the first moment I saw her I can’t keep the smile from my face. She was standing across the room with bright red har all tousled after a day of traveling and something inside me came into focus. I walked as quick as I could while trying to appear casual, so that I could be the one to bring her bags to her room. She was so adorable with her bags slung over every shoulder. I was shocked when I saw she was in the best room aboard, especially since the people who usually stay there are ridiculously rich, and she looks so down to earth. Normally, those passengers don’t even carry their luggage on the boat, it is done for them. To be honest, it was a let down. Someone who is that rich would never give me the time of day. Why would she waste her time on the proverbial ‘starving artist’. 

I had told myself to let it go. It didn’t matter that she was the first girl to draw my attention in longer than I can remember. I wasn’t going to set myself up for rejection. But when I saw her later that night before I went on stage, in my spot no less, I could swear I felt an invisible string pulling me to her. I was captivated by how amazing she looked in her black dress and heels. She was sexier than any woman I had ever seen. The entire time, in my head, I ‘m pleading with myself to play it cool. At first, I did. But when she called me stealth, I giggled. I, strait up, giggled like a teenage girl. Seriously? I’m just glad that she didn’t appear to pick up on the mortification that coursed through me. I recovered nicely though and managed to move past the regression to my teen years, and onto talking about her. I was pleased to hear she in enjoying the ocean breeze. There really is nothing like it. 

I had a really hard time reconciling the Mariah in front of me, who is laid back and chill, with most rich people I know. Watching her with her eyes closed and just breathing the salt air, I wondered what it was that was telling me I had to get to know this girl better. All too soon she opened her eyes and locked gazes with me and that was my que. If I stayed any longer, I would have embarrassed myself. I basically ran off, which was so uncool, but necessary.  
When I got backstage, I couldn’t clear my head. I decide that I need to change up my set. Normally, I only stand on stage with my guitar, but there is only one thing that can calm me and that is playing the piano. So I quickly rearranged what I had planned to play and added a couple piano pieces to settle me. 

As usual, the piano did not disappoint. I love the feeling of just me and the keys. I mean, sure, there is a bar packed full of people with me; but if I close my eyes, I can imagine I am alone and let the music take over my mind. I was just getting into my performance rhythm as I finish my 2nd song and look out at the audience when I felt her. Sure enough 2 rows back, right in front of me, is Mariah. Her eyes are closed and her mouth agape. I immediately grew nervous and hoped she was enjoying my music. As the last note resonated through the crowded room I watched her slowly open her hazel eyes and stare right into mine. My breath caught in my throat as I waited for some sort of response. ‘Wow’, she mouthed to me and it was everything. Elation at her conformation that she was enjoying my music made me want to rock that place tonight. And I did. I performed with everything I had. I tried new and different things with my vocals, I improvised with my guitar and I even allowed myself to work the audience, which is something I have lacked in. I laid myself bare on that stage, and it felt amazing.

After the show I needed to decompress, so I did as I have done nearly every night for 8 months; I went to my spot. I wasn’t expecting to see Mariah again. I would be lying if I didn’t want to see her again but I thought she would want explore the rest of the ship. I don’t know how I knew she was behind me. To put words to the sensation could never do it justice. But, I felt her presence. It felt as if a piece of me I didn’t know was missing settled back in place. 

‘I know, I feel it too’. Oh my god, did she really say that? She said that right? She acknowledged that there was something between us, a connection that can not be described. I know I felt her press her face into my hand. I know I didn’t imagine her eyes darken as I leaned in centimeter by centimeter. So why did she run?

Because, you bonehead, regardless of some mysterious, albeit strong, connection, you met 12 effing hours ago! I have to avoid her tomorrow. I have to give her space to process. Hell, I have to give myself space to process. Maybe I did imagine her initial reception to me. Maybe, she was being kind. ‘Never mind the fact that in 6 days you will never see her again’, my subconscious kindly remarks. What could possibly come of this... this attraction. 

“Hey Tess!” Sophie exclaims bounding through the door. Great, just fantastic. I do not have the energy for this. 

“Hey Soph”, I mutter, not bothering to look up. Unfazed, she starts to prattle on about bartending tonight. I nod my head feigning interest in her excitement, while really thinking about Mariah, and how I wish I had the last 5 minutes of our time together to do differently. 

“What about you?” Realizing Sophie is looking at me expectantly, as if I am to respond to some question that I wasn’t sure was asked, I just look at her blankly. “Your assignment tomorrow? Where are you working?” She says, seeming oblivious to the fact that I have not heard a word she said. 

“Oh, I’m working Cabana Joes all day tomorrow,” realization dawning that I’m being rude, as it occurs to me that I have not made eye contact since she walked through the door.

I watch her as child like exuberance takes over her face. “Really?!” She, all but screeches, “I am too! That is awesome! We get to work together. Isn’t that great?!” 

Controlling my impulse to roll my eyes, I smile and say, “Yeah, that’s pretty cool, Soph. We better get some sleep then, yeah? I don’t want to be tired all day.” 

“You’re right. I will just run to the bathroom and then go to bed. Sleep well roomie, I will see you tomorrow.” She smiles.

“Yeah, you too.” I say and roll over. I punch my lumpy pillow, knowing its shape will not be the cause of my sleepless night, that is surely to come. Closing my eyes, hazel eyes immediately come into view.


	6. Chapter 6

Mariah  
Why is it so bright in here? Rolling over, I throw my blankets over my head hoping to block what feels like a thousand watt bulb being shined in my eyes. As I slowly come to consciousness I remember I am not in my own bedroom, but aboard a massive cruise liner and my eyes pop open. That’s why I’m so comfortable. Good God, this bed feels like I’m sleeping in a cloud. Languidly, I roll over and stretch, feeling life slowly enter my body. 

With my slowly entering alertness comes memories of my first night aboard. Memories of Tessa flood my mind, and along with those memories comes confusion. What was wrong with me last night? I don’t behave that way. It was as if I was some teenager who met a rock star and went all groupie. Sure, Tessa is sexy, but so are a millions of other woman. I do not understand why I reacted so strongly to her. And I don’t understand why even now, when I think about her leaning in and almost kissing me, I instantly heat imagining how it would have felt to have her lips on mine... her body pressed to mine... her hands wrapped in my hair. My breathing hitches in my chest and I can not believe just how turned on I am. This is crazy. 

Coffee. Coffee is what I need right now. I, inch by inch, peel the blanket from my face, and immediately screw my eyes shut. Yep, still blindingly bright. Stumbling over to the kitchen, I take a few moments to figure out how the fancy coffee pot works and set it to brew. I start opening all the cabinets in search of a coffee cup and am pleased to find anything and everything I could ever want. I literally could stay in here for the entire week and be perfectly content. 

After preparing my coffee just the way I like it I walk over to the glass walls and stare out. Allowing my eyes to focus, I am still amazed at the view. Watching the sun come up over the ocean, I am amazed at how the water glitters like a million tiny diamonds. The coffee starts to wake me up and I want to get some sun. There is no way I am staying in this cabin. While the idea of staying in here and avoiding whatever is happening to me is tempting, I am not going to hide away. That is ridiculous.

_______________________________________________________

An hour later, I am still standing in front of the mirror after having tried on all of the bathing suits I brought. I finally decided on my black bikini. It is the one I feel most confident in and admittedly, the one I feel sexiest in. I put on my yellow sundress, and leave my hair down to pool around my shoulders. Looking at my reflection I feel good. I look good. I may not understand what is happening to me and why meeting Tessa has shook me to my core, but I know if I see her today, I will look good. I, ignore the niggling voice in my head taunting me, ‘why does it matter what she thinks about how you look, huh?’ I will deal with that later. Right now, I’m going to enjoy the day. 

Walking to the pool, I’m amazed at how many people are here. I’m relieved to see a Cabana that is available. I absolutely love the sun, but with my complexion, the sun very quickly burns my skin. I learned very early that 15 minutes of direct sunlight is about the most I can handle without dealing with burns. 

I set my towel down on the lounge chair, and sit down and take in my surroundings. In front of me there are kids splashing around and screaming. I smile at their antics. I never got a chance to go on a vacation when I was a kid, never mind one as amazing as this one. At the end of the pool is a slide that is dumping another kid every 15 seconds. I’m glad these kiddos have this kind of opportunity.

I nearly jump up when i lay down. For a moment, I though someone was going to land on me. After a closer look I realize that there is a zip line right over my head. Holy hell! Here I am laying by a pool and 40 feet above me people are wizzing by me in mid air. Now THAT, I will be trying later. First, though, I am getting a drink. 

I walk up to the bar and am pleased to see Oli mixing drinks. 

“Hey Oli”, I say and rest my arms on the bar top. 

Turing around he smiles broadly . “Mariah!! Good morning, how was your first night? Did you go to Ivory Keys?”  
“Yeah I did”, I smile and look up at the menu avoiding his eyes. “Hey, can I get a Mud Slide?”

“You got it, whip cream and a cherry?” He says grabbing a frosting glass. 

“Uh, yeah... is there any other option?” I sarcastically retort.

“Well, no, of course not.” He turns around to grab the Kahlua. “So was the singer I was telling you about amazing!” He says animatedly.

“Uh, yeah. She was. Tessa is...”beautiful, sexy, tempting... “really talented.” I say simply.

“That she is, and a really good person too.” He gushes.

“Well, you sound like her biggest fan Oli.” I say as he hands me my drink. This conversation is making me uncomfortable, but I don’t want to be rude, so I add, “I had a chance to talk to her after the show and she did seem like a very nice person. But, I don’t know her as well as you do.”

Oli starts to say something, but a girl walks behind the bar and says, “Hey Oli!”

“Sophie, Hi. You ready to start your shift?”

“Sure am, has it been busy?”

“Not really, but it is picking up now.” Oli looks over to me and smiles broadly, “Mariah, Sophie.. Sophie, Mariah.” By way of introduction. “This is Mariah’s first cruise.”

“Hi!” the excited girl practically shrieks, “oh, how exciting for you. Are you having a good time?” 

Seriously? Is this girl for real? “Yeah, so far so good.”

“It really is magical isn’t it? I’m so fortunate to work here. The sun, the people... just amazing.” Her smile is so genuine that I can not help buy smile back. I can only hope that whatever job I have next it will make me half as happy as this one makes her. 

“So how long have you worked onboard?” I ask.

“Only 2 months, but its been the best in my life. I mean, who wouldn’t want this job, am I right? Tropical islands, happy people ... Plus, I’ve got the best cabin mate; she and I are becoming great friends.

“How old are you Sophie?” I ask, thinking no one over 21 is this happy. In my experience, life kicks you in the teeth regularly, and you have to find little pockets of happiness for yourself. You can’t expect life to be grand all the time. 

“I’m 24,” she beams, “My birthday was last week.”

“Well happy belated birthday,” I say, and stand up. “I’m going to go lay back down at my Cabana. I’m sure I will be back.”

“Thank you! Yes, yes, If you need anything, come see me. Or you can go to the swim up bar. My cabin mate Tessa is working down there.” 

For a moment I just stand there back to her. I didn’t hear her right. Clearly I heard her wrong. I turn around and ask, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

“The swim up bar, down there,” She points to the tiki bar on the far edge of the pool, “If you would like a drink while swimming, Tessa can help you there. She makes great drinks.”

I follow her finger and sure enough, jet black hair comes into view. My view narrows to pinpricks and it is as if the rest of the pool fades away and now all I can see is Tessa. She is laughing at something. She has a beautiful laugh, the way her eyes crinkle at their edges. I watch as she tosses a bottle in the air, deftly catching it with one hand while pouring another liquor with the other. 

“Clearly, she knows her bar tricks, I’ve been practicing since I started, but so far I have only managed to break bottle after bottle. Luckily, I practice with empty ones, so its no big deal.” I hear Sophie say, and it brings me back to my present.

“Oh yeah? Well, you will get it. Alright... well, I’m heading off, see you later Sophie.

She is saying something, but honestly, I don’t hear her. I’m too focused on getting back to the cabana where I can hide. I don’t want Tessa to see me. I want to be alone with my thoughts. I want to figure out what is happening to me. 

Sinking back on my chair I close my eyes. OK Mariah, it’s time to figure this out. You are drawn to her. That much is clear. But why? As with any crazy person, I continue this conversation with myself in my head. Well, I am drawn to her because... I let my head drop to the side and open my eyes, knowing this will give me a clear view of Tessa. As I watch her, I feel butterflies dance in my stomach. God, she is beautiful. She is graceful and confident, much like she was last night on stage. Her movement commands attention, and whether I want to give it or not, she has mine. 

Ok, lets not overthink this girl, so you are attracted to her. She has charisma. I’m sure a lot of people are attracted to her. That doesn’t mean you want her physically. Grateful for my someone private position, I flush as I allow myself a moment to wonder what that would be like. Her hands on my skin.. her mouth on my neck. My hands running up her shoulders and into her hair. Nope, no denying the heat that pools in more core. These thoughts are turning me on, and its terrifying. I’ve been with a few guys in my life, and even with my ex, I never, ever felt nearly this turned on, even in our intimate moments. Is it possible I just didn’t know I was into girls? 

Is it even possible to not know? I mean, sure, I haven’t had the easiest of lives. Most of my life I have been struggling just to survive. The last thing on my mind was romance, or who I wanted to be romantic with. I just followed the few friends I had examples. The past 4 years has been a whirl wind of emotion catching up for the previous 22 years with my mom. It has taken a lot of energy to slowly lower the wall I had firmly in place to have a meaningful relationship with her.

I close my eyes as I continue pondering the precarious situation I find myself in. Before I know it, I am started awake by a kid jumping in the pool and splashing me. Looking around, the sun has moved across the sky and based on my confused state I know it must be at least 2 or 3 hours later. 

I sit up and look around. Sophie is still making drinks and I decide to get another one. I am pretty warm, but getting in the pool will bring me closer to Tessa, and I’m just getting used to daydreaming about her, I am not ready to put myself in her orbit again just yet. I do, however, allow myself a glance in her direction. She is shaking up a drink while looking over her shoulder at a customer laughing at something. Damn, she is sexy.

I walk over to the bar and sit on a stool. “Hey Sophie”, I say and smile.

“Mariah!” the naturally bubbly girl exclaims. “What can I get for you?”

“Oh, surprise me. As long as it is frozen and fruity, I’m not picky.” I say, tapping my index fingers on the bar top. 

“Oohhh, creative freedom, LOVE IT!” She sings. 

“Do your thing girl, I will be your Guinea Pig.”

She turns around and starts grabbing no less than 4 liquors and 3 mixers. “So Mariah, what are your plans for our first port tomorrow? We are docking at our private island, so if you ever imagined being on a deserted island, tomorrow may be the closest you will ever get to experiencing it.”

“I have not given it much thought. What do you suggest?”

“Oh, snorkeling, no doubt. It is phenomenal.” She says her eyes widening animatedly. 

“You have been?”

“They train most of us to be snorkel instructors, so yes, I have been many times. I instructed my first group a couple weeks ago. No one was eaten by a shark, thank you very much.” She jokes.

“You know, for someone trying to sell me on it, you may want to leave out the shark talk.” She giggles and I add, “So are you instructing tomorrow?” 

“No, sadly, I’m scheduled to set up dinner tomorrow night when the passengers come back aboard. Tessa is though. She is very good. You can trust her to make sure that no stray sharks get you.”

At this point I’m getting used to my heart rate jumping at the mere mention of Tessa’s name, so I, very smoothly in my mind, ask, “She is, huh?”

“Yes, and she loves it. She would never admit it, but I think it is her favorite assignment, well, aside from singing of course. She always comes back so relaxed. You should go. You will not regret you did.”

My mind works overtime thinking about seeing Tessa in a bathing suit, helping me set up my gear, walking up behind me and tightening my mask, being brushed up against me. These thoughts are very tempting, and before I have a chance to rethink it, I say, “You know, I think I will. What’s a world class vacation, without living on the edge a little.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. I have been crazy busy with the holiday coming up. But I am already working on the next chapter and hope to have it up by Sunday. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Dusty

Chapter 7  
Mariah

Confidence is something I have been a master of imitating, but I have never actually felt. So it is no wonder that as I walk down the stairs to the dock, my insides are vibrating and I seriously want to puke. What the hell was I thinking? Why did I think this was a good idea again? Yesterday, when Sophie told me Tessa was going to be the snorkel instructor, all I could think about was throwing caution in the wind and placing myself in her orbit. Since that point, each and every hour that has passed has been a testament to my ability to second guess my decision. 

Within the time it took me to walk from the pool to my room, I had already decided that I would spend tomorrow held up in said room, spending the day reading one of the books I had teased my mother for suggesting I bring. 

2 hours later, I had already chastised myself for being a wimp and convinced myself that I was not going snorkeling to see Tessa; I just really like fish. I mean, fish are pretty right? Pretty quickly, I recognized my own bull shit and admitted that while, yes, fish are undoubtedly fascinating, I have never, not once in my life, thought I should jump in the ocean to look at them. Back to the book it was. 

4am, was the hour that I was going to at least get off the boat and go lay in the sand. It is not like you get the opportunity to lounge on a private island everyday, so staying in my room would be lame. I’m not lame, right? Hell no I’m not! 

7am comes with me still pretty solid on my plan to spend the day in the sand. It’s not like I had any time to change my mind anyway and all I wanted was coffee, just something to wake me up before we de-boarded. I was walking to the coffee shop on the promenade and noticed that there were tables lined up with people crowding around them. When I got closer, I realized that it was sign up sheets for the day activities. 

As I slowly walked through the throngs of people I saw her. She was laughing, clearly happy about her day to come. Sophie had said she really loved snorkeling and seeing her then, with the laugh lines surrounding her eyes and the beaming smile on her face, I knew I needed to see her out there. So I made a split second decision and snorkeling it was. 

When I finally made my way to the front of the table, Tessa was talking animatedly with a little girl, so I hung back just watching the exchange. 

“You think we will see a Dory fish?” The girl asks, looking for reassurance that it will be fun. 

Tessa beams and kneels down to get eye level with her, “You might. But you will see other fish for sure. All kinds of them. You might even see a dolphin. Plus, you will be with other kids, and I know that if they see a Dory fish, they will tell you.”

“Really??!!” The little girl squeals, clapping her hands. “Did you hear that mommy? Dolphins! When do we get to go?”

“Soon baby,” the woman rubs her daughters head and silently thanks Tessa. “Come on, we are going to get some breakfast, and then we will be going, OK?” 

Tessa then stands up and turns back to the table and freezes when she sees Mariah. 

“Hi,” I say, offering a smile and quick wave. And there it is. The undeniable attraction to this beautiful woman is present, accounted for, and strong. With my heart beating decidedly faster than it was 2 minutes ago, I ask, “Any room for me?”

For a moment Tessa just stands there, mouth agape, looking at me as if she didn’t quite catch what I said. But she quickly recovers and a slow smile spreads across her face. “You know, I think there is.” She grabs a clip board, looks down and starts flipping pages. “Have you ever done this before?”

“Done what...” because clearly I have I have lost the ability to have a conversation.

She looks up from her clip board and gives me the most adorable lop sided smile. “Snorkel.” 

“Oh, right.” I awkwardly stammer. And my hands all of a sudden become a part of this conversation, as I ramble, “Uh, well no. Honestly, I’ve never been in the ocean. Now, I can say, I’ve been ON the ocean, because I’m on a cruise ship, duh. Never in it though. But I am a strong swimmer, so there is that.” Through out this montage of rambling, my hands are flailing and I know I must look like such a dork. 

When I finally stop talking I notice Tessa is smirking, and I’m mortified. I must look like a crazy person. 

“Well, you will love it. It is so amazing, really. I’m glad you will get to experience it today. I’m really happy that I will get to experience it with you.” She says this last part quieter and I see her face flush as she looks down to avoid my eyes.

“Me too.” I admit and I move so that she is forced to look me in the eye. “Look, I’m sorry I took off the other night. I was... overwhelmed and...”

“No,” she stops me and with a seriousness that startles me a bit, says, “Mariah, I’m sorry. I... I’m not sure what came over me. I was pushy and while I won’t deny that I wanted...” she stops and I can see her looking for the right words... “well, I’m just sorry. I would really, really like it if you and I could start again. I promise I will not push too hard and I will keep my hands to myself.” 

She is smirking now, with a sexy as hell expression, and damn if I don’t want her to do the opposite of keeping her hands to herself. But we are in the middle of a crowd of people, so I just curtly nod my head. “Yeah well, I’d say we both got carried away a bit. But I do want to start over. I’d really like to get to know you. Right now though, don’t we have some snorkeling to do?” 

Relief flashes in her eyes and she smiles, “Hell yeah we do! Ok, after we get off the ship there will be smaller boats lined up. Just stand over by them, I will find you. There are 3 instructors today, and only 12 people signed up as of right now. So you will have plenty of time in the water.” 

“Sounds good. I will see you soon.” I say and wave as I turn to walk away.

“Hey Mariah?” I hear as I am leaving and I turn around. Looking back at her, she is smiling the biggest smile I think possible on her beautiful face. “I’m so happy your coming today...” She looks as if she wants to say more, but is holding back. 

“Me too, Tessa.” Because I am. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what could possibly come from, whatever this is. But I’m going to find out. 

She nods her head and walks back to the table, as I turn and walk back to my room to adjust my attire to suit my new plan for the day. 

___________________________________________________________

As we make our way out to where we will anchor I mange my fears by focusing on Tessa, who is answering questions from other guests. I’m not hearing a word she says though... I’m entirely focused on the way her hair is blowing in the ocean breeze. I’m watching the way she steadies herself on the bench as the boat crests on each wave. And I’m watching her sneak glances at me when she thinks I am not paying attention. It’s enough to make my face flush and make me squirm in my seat. 

When we finally reach our destination, the captain of our small boat throws the anchor overboard. The moment we stop, my anxiety ramps up as the weight of my decision to jump in the damned ocean to spend time with Tessa hits me. Oh God, what the hell was I thinking? I look over the side of the boat and see a huge fish just below the surface. Nope... I do not care if I come across as the biggest baby of all time, I am not getting in that water. 

Slowly I back up and sit as far away from the edge as possible. I watch Tessa as she situates the gear in such a way for easier access and then stands up to address everyone.

“Ok! Here we are. Who is ready for an adventure?!” She shouts animatedly. 11 other people shout and hoot there excitement, eager to get in the water. 

“Awesome! Ok, so... there are a few ground rules. If you look around, you will see 3 other boats. Please stay within the perimeter of the square we have mapped out. Also, I don’t care how well you can swim, you must keep your life jacket on at all times. And finally, have a blast!” 

Everyone around me is all smiles and ready to get started. How can they not be scared right now? Tessa starts handing out snorkel gear and one by one, everyone piles of the boat and into the water. 

Once it is just she and I left, she slowly turns to me... “And then there were two...” she says in a voice decidedly deeper than it was just 2 minutes ago. Even scared, I can not deny the thrill of excitement that courses through me. She slowly walks towards me and I’m captivated by her presence. That is, until she says, “so, lets get you set up so we can get in the water. You said you were a strong swimmer, right?”

“Uh, I may have exaggerated my swimming ability a bit,” I say quietly and look down. “I mean, you go, I will just hang out here.”

For what seems like eternity, Tessa just looks at me with a soft smile. Mercifully she breaks the silence. “You don’t want to go?” Its nothing accusatory or angry. Just slight confusion and an attempt to understand. “Are you scared?”

Its a question, and a caring one, but that part of me that can show no weakness can never, ever admit to being scared. So immediately I snap, “no”, and it comes out sharper than I intended. Realizing I’m being rude, I say, “I not scared, I just don’t want to slow you down.”

Tessa looks at me and turns her head to the side. Her expression can only be described as gentle as she says, “No, I’m not going without you. Why don’t we just relax. We are going to be out here for a few hours. What better way to get to know each other.”

“Really?” I say, praying I don’t sound as hopeful as I feel. “You don’t want to go? I know you enjoy it.”

“Please, I go every week. If I get to choose between snorkeling and spending time with you, you best believe I will choose you 100% of the time.”

And, I’m swooning. Seriously, did she just say that? “You don’t know me though. How do you know you want to spend time with me? I mean, what if I’m that annoying person who picks their teeth in public and talks with my mouth full?” I smirk at her as I sit down. 

“Mnnn, yeah. That’s true. That would be truly disappointing.” She jokes back and comes to sit next to me. “Seriously though Mariah, I want to get to know you. Where are you from?... where did you get your beautiful hazel eyes?, your mom or dad?... What was your favorite subject in school?.. What do you do for work?...do you like pineapple on pizza?.. are you seeing anyone?” She asks this last question shyly and looks down. 

Scooting closer to her I realize that I want nothing more than to tell her anything she asks. “I live in Genoa City, Wisconsin, but I grew up in Madison, Wisconsin. I have to assume I got my eye color from my father because my moms eyes are blue, but I don’t know my dad... I didn’t like school... at all really, but if I have to choose, I guess I didn’t want to poke my eye out with my pencil during History... I am actually between jobs, but I plan to work at my brother’s bar when I get home. Hell yeah I like pineapple on pizza, who doesn’t.” At this she giggles and then gasps as I push closer still and grab her hands in mine. “And no, I’m not seeing anyone.”

Pushing a breath out of her lips, Tessa’s face lights up is a huge smile. “That’s... well, that is really good. Best news I have heard all day in fact. I would have been really disappointed if you didn’t like pineapple on pizza.”

Laughing, I lean back against the seat, making sure I’m as close to her as I can be. “It would have been tragic for sure. Ok, so my turn. Same questions... and go.”

Tessa leans back and rests one arm along the back rest and gently brushes her fingers on my shoulder, sending lightning through my body. I shudder and hope that it’s not visible. “Pushy, pushy.” She quips, and raises an eyebrow. 

“Fairs fair.... your stalling.”

“Ok, well. I currently live on the Caribbean, but I am from Chicago... I get my eyes from my mother, as well as most of my other features. Oddly enough, I too, do not know my father... Music class was my favorite, but I really didn’t mind school, it got me out of my house... I think we have established that pineapple on pizza is a must...” She slowly drags her fingers up my shoulder, and into the ends of my hair. “And, no... I’m not seeing anyone.” 

“Mmmm,” I hear myself purr. Since when do I purr? Moving slightly, I rub my neck against her fingertips, lean in and whisper, “If you try to kiss me now, I promise, I won’t run away.”

Tessa is looking at me with such intensity, like she is waring with herself. I wish I knew what she was thinking, but one thing I do know is that she wants to kiss me, and I just gave her permission. So what is making her hesitate?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Tessa

“If you try to kiss me now, I promise, I won’t run away.” I hear Mariah say in a sultry voice that drives me crazy. 

Looking into Mariah’s eyes, I want nothing more than to lean in and do just that. I’m having a damn war in my head and all I want to do is slide impossibly closer, slip my fingers through her red hair and claim those full kissable lips. But another part of me thinks about our current situation and Mariah’s reaction a few days ago. 

I know that this beautiful girl wanted me to kiss her then, but something inside of her couldn’t allow it to happen. She ended up running from me then. I want a different result now. Besides, what happens if I lean in an kiss her and she does freak out again? Where the hell would she go? At least on the ship, she could find anywhere other than in front of me to be. Here on this tiny boat, she is forced to stay with me or jump in the water. I don’t want to put her in a position where she feels trapped.

“Tessa?” Timid eyes, tinged with a bit of rejection, stare back at me. “Where did you go just now?”

I have got to handle this gently. Lord know I want to kiss her. But something tells me it is too soon. So, I reach my hand up, splay my fingers behind her neck and rest my forehead to hers.

“Mariah,” I say, pushing her name out on a breath. I am still battling with myself, and my own desires. “There is nothing I want more in this moment than to kiss you. But I think here, on this boat, with no where to escape to... I just... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Mariah’s eyes widen and she leans back. She is looking at me and I see a mixture of surprise, and... is that amusement. 

“So, you won’t kiss me because you are afraid I won’t like it and want to run?” She says with more than a little teasing in her voice. Oh, this girl... no, I know you will like it. You will like kissing me so much that it may freak you out, causing you to run again, and that is something I wont let happen... not again.

Of course I don’t say that. “No, thats is not exactly what I mean.” I say, hoping my playful intent is received. “I just want to make sure that I’m doing the right thing here, ya know?” At her silent, confused expression I continue. “Can I ask you a question?”

Mariah nods her head slightly, and I lean back to get a better view of her face. Grabbing both her hands, I gently pull them to me and set them on my lap.   
“Have you ever... been with a woman?” My insides are trembling and I pray she doesn’t take my question as too pushy.

For a long moment, too long, Mariah just looks at me with a neutral expression. Finally, she takes a deep breath and looks away, “No. Is it that obvious?”

So almost looks as if she is ashamed and that is the last thing I want to see on her flawless face.

“Hey,” I say reaching for her, as I gently place her chin between my thumb and fore finger, pulling her gaze up to meet mine. “My question had nothing to do with anything you did or did not do. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

At this she shyly smiles and shakes her head, “No, you didn’t. This is all just so crazy ya know? I’m not into girls, or at least I never have been. But when I look at you, you who is very much a girl, I’m rethinking what I though about what exactly it is that I want. I don’t understand what is happening to me.”

“That is exactly why I can’t kiss you right now. Not because I don’t want to, because, hell Mariah, feeling your lips on mine is exactly what I want. But the other night when you ran from me, I realized that this isn’t just about me. I was so drawn to you that it didn’t even occur to me that you might not have felt as strongly as I did... that you might be feeling differently... that it may have been too much...” Sighing, I say, “Damn, I’m rambling...”

“Kinda, its really cute though,” she says as she chuckles and reaches for my hand again, removing it from her cheek. When did I touch her cheek again? I can not stop touching her. “And really sweet. I’m not used to people caring about how I feel, but it feels really nice. I will ask for a favor though.”

She is staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to respond. “Ok, name it.” I say, surprised how vehemently I mean that.

“I’m flattered, if not surprised by your willingness to care about my state of mind, but I need you to trust I know what is best for me, okay?”

“I can do that,” I say and stand up walking to the edge of the boat to look out at the forgotten snorkelers . Without turning around I ask, “So, why did you run off the other night?”

I feel Mariah walk up behind me, careful not to get too close to the edge. I hear her sigh, and for a moment I’m not sure she is going to respond.

“I was scared, Tessa. My life up till the moment I stepped on this boat has been in my control, ya know? Even this trip, has been about me only accepting things for myself that I felt I could handle. I thought I knew who I was, what I wanted...” Mariah’s voice drops an octave as she quietly says, “what I desired.” I watch, eyes wide, with breath caught in my throat as she takes a step forward. “But, then I met you and my very being has been turned upside down.”

Swallowing hard I stare at her. Unable to form a coherent thought or take a breath as I let her words crash over me in the form of a slow, delicious tremble that starts from my core and tears out through my skin. 

“And that scares you...” I say, rather than ask.

“Yes.” Mariah looks away from me and goes to sit back down. She leans her elbows on her knees and looks out to sea. I wait, not wanting to push her. I want her to feel comfortable with me, so perhaps her fear can dissipate , if even just a bit.

So I wait. I walk back over to her and plop one knee up between us and sit down... and I wait. 

Finally, after what seems like and eternity, but in reality was probably close to five minutes, Mariah turns to me and declares, “I’m going to tell you things about myself.” As she slaps her hands down on her knees and sits up. 

Startled, I jump a little and chuckle nervously. “Ok,” I say and sit a little straighter, curiosity enveloping me. I want to know everything about this girl. 

With a short expulsion of air, Mariah begins. “Ok, first of all, I’m not telling you anything to make you feel bad for me. I don’t need pity. I do, however need you to understand why not feeling like I’m in control scares the shit out of me.”

Looking up at me she sighs, and I know this conversation and how I handle it are incredibly important. She is looking at me with worry, and it literally makes my heart ache. I’m overwhelmed with the need to comfort her and she hasn’t even started yet. So I just squeeze her hand and smile, hoping it will be the encouragement she needs. It is the best I can do in this moment to let her know I’m here... and I’m listening.

“Ok.” She says and takes a deep breath, “So when I was a kid, I was in the system. I was from the day I was born. Well, there was a while when I was really young when I had been adopted that I though I had been loved. But, after my adoptive mother got sick and died, and my adoptive father gave me back, I realized much too young that the only one who will ever be there for me is me. I was 5 when that happened, but I remember it clearly. I remember walking through the grey metal doors and sitting in the chair while my dad told me to sit while he talked to the receptionist. I remember playing with my doll when he knelt in front of me and said he was sorry and hugged me goodbye. I remember being so confused and feeling like I must have done something really, really bad to make him leave me there. I remember being scared... so, so scared, that first night when I finally got to the group home. It was cold and the other kids looked so mad. I recognize now that the anger was a manifestation of sadness. Sadness that comes from years of being alone, passed up, not good enough and unloved. I had to experience that to truly understand it.”

Mariah stops, clearly lost in her memories for a moment. With both her hands she runs her fingers through her hair and harshly blows out a breath and then looks up at me. I look at her, holding my breath. She told me, in no uncertain terms, she didn’t want my pity, so I’m hoping, no I’m praying she does not misinterpret the look on my face for that, when all I feel is an overwhelming sense of compassion for this beautiful woman. Compassion and awe that she went through such a traumatic start and is here to tell me about it. I had a pretty shitty childhood. But I always had a roof over my head, and my mother and sister, Crystal. 

When Mariah clears her throat and leans back, I wait for her to continue.

“Anyway, I spent from ages 5 to 18 in and out of different foster homes every 3-6 months. The only constant in my life were my clothes and my pillow.” She lets out a humorless laugh, one tear balancing and threatening to fall, as she looks up at me again. Something in my face must not sit well with her because she immediately sits up. 

“Uh uhhh, Nope. I said no pity Tessa.” She says with a tone that makes it very clear she is incredibly serious, bordering on mad.

“No Mariah, it’s not pity.” I say to her and am surprised to feel a tear track down my own cheek. “Sadness, for sure. Sadness for the little girl you were. Anger, that the world can be so cruel as to hand you a shit start to life. Awe at the woman you are now. But no, Mariah, not pity.” Slowly, I reach up and cup her cheek, letting my thumb wipe away the tear that finally broke free of her lashes and tracks down her cheek.

Immediately, her features soften, and I feel her body relax. I gently, slowly, turn her around and rest her back to my front and bask in the exquisite feeling of her body resting into mine. She is holding my left arm like a life raft as I stroke her other arm with my right hand. For a few minutes we just sit there, looking out to sea. I feel so incredibly grateful that she is allowing me this. I want to comfort her. I want to hold her and let her know that that was a long time ago. I admit to myself that while I know it’s crazy, I want to protect her and to keep her safe. 

Eventually, I feel Mariah take a deep breath, and I know she is about to continue.

“As the years went on, I slowly started to realize no one was going to care for me, but me. I mean, its a sucky, sad feeling. But you know what? It was also freeing. No one cared what I did or where I went. So, I did what I wanted. Over the years, I got really good at making sure I had what I needed. When you only have yourself to answer to, and to count on, your need for control multiples, at least that is how it was for me. Long ago, I developed a sense of who I am. Anyone who has tried to push me out of my comfort zone was easily dismissed in my mind. I needed me, thats it. Everyone else was expendable.”

She stops abruptly and twists around to face me, “That sounds awful, doesn’t’ it? So selfish.” This beautiful woman before me looks ashamed and I won’t, no I can’t stand for it. 

“No,” I say vehemently, “No, you were protecting yourself Mariah. There is nothing wrong with that. Give yourself a break. You have certainly earned it.”

A wide amused smile crosses her face and, god damn, if she isn’t the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. 

“That’s what my mom said. Well, different context, but same advice. It’s actually why I’m on this cruise.”

Mom? She did say she got her eyes from her mother. Ok, now I’m confused. This must show on my face, because Mariah continues with, “So imagine my surprise, when me, the girl who doesn’t need anything from anyone is blindsided with the fact that her boss for the last year was her biological mother.”

“No Shit!” I say, unable to keep my shock to myself. 

She giggles, turns back around and leans back against me. “Shit! Trust me, it was the biggest shock of my life. But, that is another story for another day.”

“Seriously?! Your gonna drop a bomb like that and just leave me hanging?! Uh! I am wounded.” I joke with mock scorn.

“Pfft, totally am gonna leave you hangin. If I didn’t, how do I know you would come back around?” She says with a grin. She’s kidding, I know she is, but there is no way I can let this pass. 

Gently I reach around her shoulder and pull her hair away from her ear. I lean in and whisper, “Unless you tell me to leave, I’m not going anywhere.” 

This earns me a soft gasp, and I feel her body shutter between my legs. Fuck! The feeling is explosive and I can’t stop the moan that escapes from my lips. Embarrassed, I adjust myself so that she is not brushing against me so intimately. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, praying I haven’t messed this up, “I’m really sorry...”

She silences me by turning around and putting her index finger to my lips, “shhh, there is nothing to apologize for Tessa.” Her voice is deep as she looks at me with hooded eyes, pupils blown, and all I want to do is give in, to feel her lips on mine, to taste her mouth, and neck. I could get lost in Mariah, and I know it. 

SPLASH... I see a huge blast of water heading toward us just before we are both soaked. We jump up and gasp. 

“Sorry! I didn’t expect the splash to be quite so strong. I was trying to get my dad.” A teenage boy says, oblivious to the moment he has completely and throughly ruined. Was I really so entranced by her, that I didn’t even notice a family not 10 feet from the boat? I guess I was. 

Mariah starts laughing hysterically, full on bent over, wheezing laughing and I can’t help but to start laughing myself. I know, we must look crazy to any onlookers, and I honestly don’t care. 

When our laughing dies down we sit back down. Mariah looks at me and asks, “Hey, how long have we been out here?”

“Why, you in a rush to get away from me?” I joke and duck as she lightly taps the back of my head.

“Hardly... I was just thinking... All this talk about me living in my comfort zone has me feeling that maybe it is time I step out of the box I have created for myself.”

Curiosity peaked, I ask, “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?” 

“Well, I have still never been in the ocean...do we have time?” She asks, with a hopeful tone.

Looking at the instrument panel I see we have 45 minutes left. “Hell yeah we do. But, you’re sure? I mean, I will be right there. And I would never let anything happen to you.”

“You know... I know that. I don’t know how I know, but I know.” She says as a warm smiles envelops her face. “And yeah, I’m sure. Let’s do this.”

“Awesome!” I grab 2 masks and snorkels, then help her step into flippers. After counting to 3 she and I jump hand in hand , feet first into the water.

“It’s so warm! She exclaims as she comes to the surface. “It feels amazing!”

“Wait until you seen under the water. Are you ready?”

With a sparkle in her eyes seen through her mask she swims right up to me and says, “Yeah, I think I am. Show me what I have been missing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading this story, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you, and Happy Holidays!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay... Ive been crazy busy with work. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 9  
Mariah  
“Are you sure about this Tessa?” I ask hesitantly, as I look over the edge, down to the pool below me.

“I’m telling you Mariah, it is perfectly safe. Trust me, Ok?” I turn my fearful gaze up to Tessa and fall into the most beautiful green eyes. Instantly I feel at ease. Not about the death defying stunt I am about to pull zip lining across this ship. But for the steady gaze and reassuring hand on my back reminding me I can trust that she will keep me safe. I remember back to our time snorkeling a couple of days ago, to when she asked me to trust her...

__2 days ago__

“Trust me Mariah, I’ve got you.” She says to me as we tread water. The excitement to try new things and push out my comfort zone momentarily thwarted by the massive turtle lurching just below my feet. Images of my toes being chewed off flood my mind, as panic settles squarely on my chest. 

“You’ve got me?” I hiss, petrified. “You’ve got me?! There is a monstrous sea creature looking at us like we are lunch, but, hey, no worries, you’ve got me.” I huff sarcastically, frantically searching for a way to get back to the boat without splashing.

Tessa, for her part, looks thoroughly amused. Biting her top lip and scrunching her nose, it is clear she trying not to laugh.  
“I’m glad you find this funny, why are you not scared right now?” 

“Because Mariah, Sea turtles are gentle and magnificent creatures. The one below our feet is probably 110 years old. He has swam from one end of the globe to the other 100s of times throughout his life. And in all that time, Mariah, I can guarantee, he has bitten no one; not even a nibble of the toes. Just put your mask down and look at him. ” Tessa’s impassioned speech catches me off guard, and I’m surprised by her obvious affection for the animal below. It makes me want to believe she is right. My fear, however, remains intact, as I look back to the boat. How the hell have we gotten so far away from the boat? 

“Ok, look,” Tessa says, her patience shining through and I can see why she loves being an instructor, “Have you seen Finding Nemo?”

“Are you serious right now? I’m not 7, Tessa.” I scoff. 

Tessa flashes a devilish grin, grabs the strap to my life jacket tugging me to her, and in a voice far deeper and sexier than a minute ago says, “Oh, trust me Mariah.... I know you are very much a woman.”

Putty, I am reduced to melting, molten putty as I glide up to her, feeling her fingers dig in to hips. In an instant there is nothing about to eat me from the depths of the sea. There is just Tessa’s eyes, dark and incredibly close. I try... I try so hard to keep my composure, but good God, the desire that courses through me is the single most powerful thing I have ever felt. Reaching my hands out, I grab her arms and pull her closer. I watch as Tessa’s eyes darken as they flit down to my lips. I hear a barley audible growl rumble up from her chest and out her parted lips. 

“Finding Nemo, Mariah...” She whispers, closing her eyes. I watch her take a slow deep breath through her nose and exhale it out of her mouth. That mouth...

I know this is not the right moment. I know bobbing in the ocean, in full view of other guests and her coworkers is not the time to lose all sense of where I am, but hell I can’t help it.

“Huh?” I say as some form of communication that will pull me back to our surroundings. I tread backwards, bringing her just out of reach, hoping to settle my racing heart. 

“Finding Nemo... the fish who gets lost and has to find his way home?”

Huffing, I roll my eyes. “What are you going on about?” I’m confused by her insistence to talk about a children’s movie. “Yes, I’ve seen it. Why?”

“Because,” Tessa plops her face down in the water for a few seconds before looking back up to me, “our friend down there is just like Crush in Finding Nemo. Completely peaceful and floating around the ocean. He won’t hurt you, I promise.”  
Is she seriously comparing a living sea creature to a Disney movie? “Yeah, well... I remember Dory, and she had the right idea. I should “just keep swimming... right back to the boat.” Even as the words cross my lips, I know I’m not going to. I see the hopeful look in her eyes and, damnit if I don’t want to keep it there. 

With a bark of laughter she comes back with, “mmm hmmmm.... she also was friendly with all the sea creatures. She wasn’t scared of anything.”

“Fine, fine...” I roll my eyes playfully, and am rewarded with a squeal of delight. 

Hesitantly, I put my face in the water and peer down into the depths. With my ears still above water, I hear Tessa assure me that I am ok, as I look down. There, just below my feet, is the source of my terror. This time, instead of letting my panic take hold, I just watch him. He is slowly drifting on the sea floor grazing on plant life and coral. Vibrant smaller fish swim all around him as he pays them no mind.

“Don’t forget to breath through your mouth piece.” I hear Tessa say. At this, I pop my head up. “So....” she questions with a hopeful expression.

“I...may...have over reacted a bit.” I admit sheepishly, looking away embarrassed.

She chuckles and shakes her head. “Come on, there is so much to see and not much time.”

She reaches out for my hand under the water and pulls me from the spot. For the next 30 minutes we swam through the azure water, hand in hand. She points out things she thinks I might like, while I did the same, excited to see an entirely new world below the surface of the sea. 

__Now__

“I do trust you....” I say softly, shaking my head from the memory and reminding myself that I need to stay present in this moment, because all too soon I will be going home. I will have to go back to the real world. A world where I have no job. A world that does not include Tessa. 

I refuse to be sad about that now though. Right now, with Tessa looking at me, eyes dancing, I push the thought from my mind. 

“Ok, I’ll do it.” Determination clear as I stand a bit straighter.

“Really?!”Tessa’s excitements pours from her as she bounces on her heals and grabs my hands. I melt at the contact and can not help but laugh, because her childlike excitement is infectious.

“Yes really... you didn’t let me get eaten by a turtle... so I’m trusting you won’t let me fall to my death either, right?” The question is posed as a joke, but Tessa hears the sliver of truth behind my words and turns to me, eyes boring into me.

“I promise you, Mariah, this is safe.”

Overwhelmed by the spark that instantly ignites every time she looks at me so intensely, I look away, trying to remind myself that she is talking about zip lining, and not the growing closeness between us. 

“When is your break over? If you don’t have time right now, we could always do this later.”

“I have 30 minutes left. That is more than enough time for you to go. We both know if you don’t do this right now, it won’t happen. So come on.” She drags me to the landing that is the starting point. “Oh look, no line... it’s like it was meant to be.” With that Tessa winks at me. Holy hell. “Ok, I’m going to wait over at the end. Jose here is going to strap you in, and I will see you in less than 5 minutes, have fun!” And she is off dashing to the other end of the line as I step up and prepare to be fitted for my harness. 

“Easy Jose.” I say as the handsome young man pulls on a cord that all but halts my ability to breathe. 

“Have to make sure it is secure. Wouldn’t want you to fall miss.” He says this with an easy smile, and I know he is joking. But the ill timed joke just stokes my fear. 

“Mmmmhhhmmm”, I mutter as I roll my eyes. 

“Ok, on the count of 3 you just lean forward and let gravity take care of the rest. One...two...three...” 

Leaning forward, fear grips me. A gentle tug from the cable above and I am gliding.. flying really. I am flying through the air, my hair whipping away from my face and I let a small scream escape my lips. Oh my god, this is incredible! I can not believe I almost didn’t try this earlier. Reaching my arms out to the side I lean forward, so I am literally flying like a bird. My heart is hammering in my chest as I take a deep breath, deeper than I have ever taken before. Something about the way I am floating through the air is relaxing and I’m not sure I ever want this to end. All too soon, however, I see the end of the of the line and I prepare to put my feet on solid ground again. Just as I move to put my feet below me, Tessa comes into view with a smile that takes up her whole face. I’m ready now. I’m ready for this to end and be back with her. My feet touch down and hands grab at the straps to release me. As soon as I’m free, I launch myself at Tessa. I grab hold of her as if she is my lifeline, hugging her and laughing, as I feel her arms reach around me, one hand on my back with the other clutching my head. Best... day... ever.

“That was the most amazing feeling Tessa. It felt like I was flying!” I say as I reluctantly try and remove myself from her embrace. She shakes her head and holds me tighter. There is no way I’m going to fight to leave her arms.

“You were flying Mariah,” she says into my ear, so close I can feel her breath on my neck. “You should have seen the look on your face. You looked so peaceful... and so god damn beautiful.”

Her words make my breath hitch and I’m floored, not only by her words, but the vehemence in which she says them. She continues holding me close, and it is so easy to just forget that we are surrounded by people. I fall more and more into her embrace for what feels like hours, or minutes, I’m not sure. I do, however notice the subtle shift in her breathing, how it is becoming shorter.. raspier. I feel her body shift, not in an attempt to release me, but to press her body fully against my own. And I feel the arm that is around my back drop lower, fingers grasping at my the shirt coving my lower back just above my ass. When I feel the subtle brush of her lips against my shoulders, I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips. 

“Tessa...” I whisper. A question? A plea? Not sure. All I know is that my body is on fire. A fire that I will gladly be engulfed by willingly. She pulls her head back, the hand that was behind my head now brushing the hair from my face, but the other keeping me firmly in place. I stare at her, searching her face. 

“Mariah, I...”

“Tessa?” A mans voice from behind us breaks the moment and I feel her stiffen before releasing me and taking a step back. I watch as she looks down, grits her teeth and rolls her eyes, before she schools her expression and turns around to face who has interrupted us.

“Hey Dan,” she says, her faced adorned with a fake smile. “I’m sorry, I was just congratulating Mariah here on her first Zip Lining experience.”

“Uh huh. Well, your needed in the crew quarters. Some crisis that needs tending to.” I can’t help but notice how close this man is to Tessa. Like seriously, hasn’t he ever heard of personal space. Tessa clearly is uncomfortable, but continues to smile, albeit awkwardly.

“Yeah, ok. I have 15 minutes left of my break, and then I will be on my way.” 

The clueless man steps even closer to Tessa and puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes. Tessa visibly cringes as her face turns beat red. “Well, I know you are on break, but your needed now doll. Grab another break a little later in the evening.”

Doll?? Really? This guy is a douche, and by the look on Tessa’s face, I know she wants him to go away... and now. I know I should do something, so I say, “Hey, can you show me where the spa is on your way? I know you mentioned how amazing the mud bath is.” Tessa looks up at me and smirks. This is the first time she has heard of our conversation about a spa, but she catches on quickly.

“Yeah, of course. Dan I will bring her there and then head off then. 5 minutes, I promise.”

“Yeah, ok. Make it quick though, yeah?

Tessa quickly turns around and motions for me to follow her. “Sure Dan.” Tessa calls over her shoulder, as we quickly make our way around the corner. 

“Wow, he was....” 

“A creep.” Tessa finishes for me. “Thank you for thinking quick back there.”

“No problem,” I say, smiling at her. “Is he always like that?”

“Uh, yeah.... but I don’t really want to spend the 2 minutes I have with you talking about him.” She reaches for my hand and pulls us to a stop. “Listen, tomorrow is my day off. We are going to be in St. Maartin for the day, and while I’m not allowed to be in the touristy areas, I know some great spots out of the way. I was thinking....” she hesitates and looks down. “Spend the day with me Mariah.” She looks back up at me and in an instant I know, tomorrow is going to be amazing. 

“I’d love to.” I squeeze her hand and smile. 

“Really?” She breathes, as a huge smile crossing her face.

“Yes, really. There is no place I would rather be.” After a few seconds she pulls me into her arms. I feel her blow out a breath before she steps back.

“Awesome, we will have the best day. It will be so amazing to get away from this boat.” When I nod, she brushes my hair out of my face. It will definitely be an amazing day. Not having to worry about her going back to work. Not having to care who sees if we are touching, or standing too close. Just me and Tessa. “Meet me at the docks tomorrow morning at 8, ok?”

“I’ll be there. I can honestly tell you that I can not wait.” I flush, hoping I’m not coming off too eager. “You have to go.”

“I can’t either,” she chuckles, “and yes, unfortunately I do.” She steps backward 2 steps, “See you tomorrow, Mariah...” 4 steps, “I’m really looking forward to it...” 7 steps, “have a good night.” And then she turns around. A few steps later she turns around and waves.

I wave back, unable to stop the giggle that escapes my lips. Seriously, since when do I giggle? I turn around, heading back to my room. “I will see you tomorrow, Tessa.” I say to no one, and realize my cheeks literally hurt from smiling hard.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
Mariah

“Where are you taking me?” I ask reaching for Tessa’s outstretched hand as I step off the dock. It has been 14 hours since I have been in her company and immediately I feel the difference. As her fingers wrap around mine, I feel excited and nervous. Yet, oddly enough, I feel a peacefulness settle over me that I have never known before. It is like this is exactly where I should be. 

“It’s a surprise.” She says, smiling widely as she leads me away from the crowd. Just as we clear the throngs of people, Tessa turns around and pulls me into a hug. I melt into her and breathe in her scent. God, how did I go 26 years without feeling her arms around me. How am I going to leave in 2 days and not feel her arms around me again? Nope, there is no way I am going to let that thought cloud this day. Today is ours. 

Tessa pulls back, yet keeps her arms around me, and looks into my eyes. “Hi,” she whispers, leaning her forehead against against mine as I watch her eyes flutter closed.

I feel a shudder run through me as her breath gently rolls across my face. “Hi.” I whisper back, closing my eyes in turn. I take a deep breath in through my nose, breathing her in, committing this moment to memory. 

Slowly, she removes her hands from my waist and grabs both of my hands. She walks backwards, pulling me with her. “I have been so excited for today, Mariah. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about everything I want to do with you, everything I want to show you. There are so many hidden gems on tropical islands that most tourists never see. I’m going to show you my favorites.”

Listening to Tessa’s excitement makes my heart race. I, too, had a hard time sleeping last night. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all. I sat out on the deck all night drinking wine and wishing that Tessa was with me. Hearing her confess these feelings, so unguarded and sincere, is overwhelming in the best possible way. 

“I can’t wait. Come on, be my tour guide.” I smile and squeeze her hand. I am rewarded with a smile so large that it encompasses her entire face. 

“Ok, first, we need transportation.”

_______________________________________________

“You sure you don’t want your own?” Tessa asks me. “I mean, I don’t mind you on back, but the seat is small, and we have at least 20 miles to ride. I don’t wan’t you to be uncomfortable.” She stands beside the small scooter, as she passes me a helmet.

“Oh, I’m sure. I’ve never driven one before and it will be safer this way.” Honestly, safety is the last thing on my mind. The thought of being pressed up against Tessa’s back, with my arms around her, touching her stomach... well, there is no ‘safety’ in that. But, given the opportunity, I choose this 100% of the time. 

“Well, ok then. Safety is my top concern. Don’t worry, I know I will have precious cargo.” She says and winks at me. I grab the helmet and latch the buckle. I watch as she situates on the bike. With each hand on the handle bars, she looks back at me, with a sexy smirk and says, “You coming?”

Anywhere, I will go anywhere, as long as I am with her. Throwing my leg over the bike, I settle in behind her. 

__________________________________________

45 minutes later, Tessa carefully pulls into a dirt, makeshift parking lot, surrounded by billowing banyan trees. Aside from the few other vehicles, there is nothing around. Stepping off the bike, I take the helmet off and wait for her to remove hers. 

“So, how was the ride? I’ve never driven with someone on the back before. That was... different.” Tessa’s eyes are twinkling and a shy smirk adorns her face. 

“Different huh?” I say, knowing full well that ‘different’ was meant to be a safe way of deflecting. I may have been a bit... emboldened... on our ride and taken advantage my position behind her. While my hands started on her hips as I sat back, looking around, the first bump taken I quickly realized I would have to hold on a bit more tightly. Finding my hands clasped together in front of her, nose in her hair, I quickly realized just how intimate this situation was. Holding her tighter, I realized, caused Tessa to take a sharp intake of breath. Moving my face to the back of her neck, I had let my nose to run along the top of her tee shirt, I heard her moan, loud enough to be heard over the hum of bike. In that moment, I knew what I was doing, and fuck if it didn’t send a barrage of electrical charges between my thighs. It wasn’t until I scooted impossibly closer, pressing my breasts into her back and moving my hands up each side of her torso, that she turned her head and said, ‘Your killing me here, Mariah’. I probably should have been embarrassed, but I wasn’t then, and I’m not now. “Well, I hope different is good, because I enjoyed my ride quite a bit.”

I watch her, and I’m pleased to see a flush that starts on her neck and moves up to her cheeks. I’m not entirely sure where my new found confidence is coming from. But the obvious effect I am having on Tessa makes me feel alive, wanted, and sexy, 3 feelings I have never felt before. 

“So, where are we?” I look around, and it appears we are just in a clearing, with nothing but trees around. 

“Our first stop. We need food, and there is a market very close by. Come on.” She reaches out and I clasp my hand to hers. After a while, she pulls me across the clearing, to a dirt path I hadn’t noticed. 

“How did you know this was here?”

“Well, after the first few times I was on this, or any, island, I got board only adventuring just beyond the tourist areas. Because we can not go into the tourist area, I was limited to the run down villages just outside each port. So I started allowing myself to move deeper and deeper into each island. Never far at first. I couldn’t risk getting lost and missing the boat. By now though, I know the islands pretty well. I have met natives and they all know the best spots. Most of them, I am going to show you today.” She looks back at me and smiles. Smiling back, I squeeze her hand. I’m feel incredibly special that she is sharing this will me. 

Soon, the path clears to a bustling little village, set between 2 mountains. A river runs down the center of the island with boats packed along the shores, pulled up to dozens of docks. All along the edge of the river there are vendors, selling food of all kinds. The boats literally pull up to the docks delivering fish and other merchandise. 

“This is incredible!” I’m sure my mouth is hanging open, but even in the movies, I have never seen anything this amazing. It’s as if this village just sprang out of no where, unseen from the rest of world, but thriving and bustling all the same. People are everywhere, buying and selling goods, pushing through the crowds. “How is this even here?!”

“Is pretty awesome, huh? The first time I saw it, I had pretty much the same reaction you did. It’s so different from what American’s are used to. We walk into a grocery store, put what we need in a cart, and off we go, with no thought about how it got there. Here, everything is brought fresh daily, the fish, meat, fruit, vegetables. Oh, and the best part! Watch this... ”

I watch as Tessa pushes us though the crowd and in front of a fruit cart. “What’s your favorite fruit here?” She shouts, so I can hear her over the other shoppers. 

“I don’t know what most of them are, except for the oranges and bananas. We certainly don’t have these at the grocery store in Genoa City.” I say, pointing down to what can only be described as flappy dried yellow pepper. 

“That is a star fruit, and it’s really good. Do you want to try it?”

“Sure, I will try anything once.”

“Ok, now watch this.” She turns to the merchant and yells, “15 cents for the Star Fruit.” 

“Oh, no.” The merchant replies. “That is fresh, picked 2 hours ago. 1 dollar.”

Tessa shakes her head, and smiles, “30 cents, its still just a fruit.”

Amazingly, the man replies, “75 cents.” Is she haggling for groceries?!

“50 cents, that is my final offer. I see another fruit vendor over there.” She points across the river with a raised brow. 

“Fine, fine. 50 cents. Seriously Theresa, you are going to run me out of business.” He grumbles and then smirks. 

Wait, she knows him? And why did he call her Theresa? 

“I told you last time, Horace, call me Tessa. I should have never told you my given name.” She tuts, shaking her head. 

“With a name as beautiful as Theresa, you should demand others use it all the time. Who is your friend?” 

It takes me a moment to realize he is talking about me. But, Tessa grabs my hand and pulls me closer. “This is Mariah. Mariah, Horace, Horace, Tessa.” She says by way of introduction. 

I smile, offering a small wave. 

“Well now, aren’t you a pretty girl. Is she going to be eating my Star Fruit?” With Tessa’s nod, Horace jumps into action. “Well then, 45 cents. Beauty gets discounts around here. Please look around, anything else you see, I will give you a great price.”

“Hey!” Tessa objects, “You were going to charge 50 cents when I was buying it!” 

“Indeed, I was, and you will remember, the price was One dollar.” He winks. “I mean, seriously Theresa, have you seen your friend?”

She looks back at me, eyes me up and down before pinning with a salacious stare. “Mmmm, indeed I have Horace. You’re right, of course, she should get that discount.”

All I can do is blush furiously, while warmth floods through me. Seriously, the look on Tessa’s face is enough to make me whimper. 

“Yes, well.” Horace clears his throat, and looks away, clearly noticing the effect that Tessa is having on me. “Let’s get you girls a bag for your fruit.”

Tessa leans in, wrapping her arm around my waist, pulls me close, puts her mouth up to my ear, and says with a very deep timbre to her voice, “You didn’t think I was going to let you get away with torturing me on the way over here did you?”   
“Oh God,” I breath out on a whisper, “I certainly hope not.” 

Shit, did I say that out loud? I’m honestly not sure. Tessa pulls back after slowly running her nose along my ear, causing me to tremble. She opens her eyes and looks at me through her long lashes. “Don’t worry, Mariah, I won’t.” Yep, I said that out loud. 

Behind us, Horace clears his throat and Tessa releases me. I watch her as she steels her features before turning around. I can’t help but giggle, albeit embarrassed. 

“Right, well.” Tessa finally turns back to Horace. “We are going to pick out a few more fruit and be on our way.” 

After selecting a few more treats, Tessa pays him and we walk out to visit the rest of the market. 

__________________________________________

Tessa pulls the bike off the side of the road. Nearing lunchtime, I am getting hungry, so I’m grateful when she gathers the items we bought earlier. I follow her down yet another path.

“I still can’t believe you can haggle prices for groceries here. Can you imagine walking into Publix and be like, $4 is too much for milk, I will give you $2.50. They would laugh in your face!”

“I know, right?! It is such a different way of life here. Back home, so many different people handle everything we buy. Delivery guys, stock guys... and everyone needs to get paid. Here, food goes from its source to the merchant. That affords flexible pricing. Personally, I love it!” 

As the path ends, the air is knocked out of my lungs. We are standing near the edge of a cliff. A freaking cliff! Its amazing! The ocean is laid out in front of us and there is not a boat or person in sight. 

“Tessa... oh my God.” I am completely overwhelmed by the beauty of my environment. I’m shocked to find that there is a lump in my throat tears in my eyes. I don’t cry. Not at movies; not when I’m sad; I stopped crying when I was a child. It is a sign of weakness, and until this moment, I have been able to shut down any emotion strong enough to pull it from me. But here, now, I feel tears running down my face. 

“Hey... Are you ok?” Worry flashes in Tessa’s eyes as she quickly comes to stand in front of me, holding my shoulder. I look at her, trying to let her know I’m ok. The lump in my throat is inhibiting my ability to speak at the moment, so a smile is going to have to do. She pulls me to her and hugs tight, while I slowly get myself under control. 

After my tears stop, embarrassment washes over me. I can not believe I let my emotions get to me. Who the hell am I? Moving out of Tessa’s arms I turn around, wiping away any stray tears. “I think I have something in my eye.” I know she knows I was crying, but I’m hoping that she will not push further. 

“Hey, are you hungry?” Tessa asks. Relief floods through me, realizing she is going to drop it. 

“Yeah, I’m starving actually.”

“Awesome. Me too. Let’s eat.” She passes me one end of the blanket and we spread it out. “So, tell me how it was you ended up working for your mother, before you knew she was your mother.”

“Oh, well. That is a story and a half.”

“We have time...” She looks at me with such warmth and I find it easy to start retelling how Sharon came into my life. 

“Ok, so about 5 years ago, I was working at this dive bar. The only thing grimmier than the bar itself were its customers.” I cringe remembering the strung out men coming in to drown themselves in cheap booze. 

“Oh, I know that type of establishment, I’ve sung in my fair share.” Tessa says as she passes me a peeled orange. 

“Thank you,” I take the orange and pop a piece in my mouth. “Yeah, I was over it. I know I came from nothing, but I knew I didn’t want to be the type of person who was associated with the place. I started looking for another job, anything that would pay my rent. One morning, I had grabbed the paper and went into Crimson Lights to get a coffee and scope out the want ads. Who knew that my mother happened to own the place? I mean, what are the odds... 7 billion people on this planet and I happen in to the one place my mother owns?”

“It really is amazing, Mariah. It’s like the universe was steering you to her.”

“Yeah, well...” I scoff, “Trust me, it was not smooth sailing. When I was younger, I had a wicked attitude. It was nothing for me to let someone have it for no reason other than to make them uncomfortable. So when Sharon asked me what she could get for me, I responded with... and I quote, ‘A fucking pony lady, what the hell do you think I want?”

“OMG, You didn’t,” Tessa dead pans. At my smirk and nod, she asks, “What did she say?!” Eyes wide, albeit amused. 

“Well, nothing. She just cocked her eye brow, chuckled, moved down the coffee bar and waited on the next person.” I chuckle remembering my anger at her dismissal. “So, I turned to leave, being sure to knock over a sugar jar on my way out. Just as I got to the door, she grabbed my shoulder and whipped me around, she held a cup of coffee in front of me and a bagged donut.”

“Did you smack it out of her hands?” She asks, giggling.

“Oh, I wanted to. But, I was hungry and curious. So I threw as much attitude as I could at her, crossed my arms, cause, you know, I was a bad ass, and asked ‘why?’. I will never forget her response. She looks at me with this smirk, and says, ‘Well, I feel bad we don’t have any ponies so I thought you might like this... on the house, of course.”

“Awww! That was really sweet! Did you take them?” I look up into her eyes and I notice they are twinkling, happiness shining through as I share my story. This is the first time I have shared this with anyone and I realize, it feels good to let her in on a little bit more of what makes me...me.

“I did. I remember looking into her eyes, and seeing nothing but warmth and compassion. I didn’t understand it then. I didn’t recognize it. It is the first time in my life that someone was on the receiving end of my anger and didn’t write me off. I mean, I was nothing to her. I couldn’t understand why she was being so kind. Now though, when I think about it, I think I realized I could trust her.”

Looking out to the ocean, I ate a few more pieces of my orange as the memories flood back. It has been a while since I have thought about this, and for the first time since the first day I have arrived, I miss my mom. 

“So... how did you end up working there?” Tessa prompts, breaking me out of my thoughts. 

“Well, the next day, I went back. I was embarrassed by my behavior the day before, but I wanted to see her again. I can’t explain it, but something inside me knew that I wanted this woman in my life. At first, I was nervous. I didn’t go up to the counter, plus, I had like 2 dollars to my name at the time. So I just sad down at a booth and read the want ads from a paper someone had left behind. Sharon came over with 2 cups of coffee and a couple muffins and sat down at my booth. She was all like, ‘So, I was making a fresh pot of coffee and didn’t want to waste this, so you want one? On the house.’ She smiled at me and and I couldn’t help but feel that she understood me.”

“That must have felt amazing. It doesn’t sound like you had nearly enough of that growing up.” 

“Ya know, it did feel amazing. Terrifying, but amazing. I asked her why she was being so nice to me. I was still looking for an angle, ya know? Looking back, I think I knew I wouldn’t find one, but I needed to know for sure. She gave me the saddest smile and asked me how old I was. When I told her, she just nodded with tears in her eyes. ‘Let’s just say, you remind me of someone I should have known, someone I would give anything to see again. I know that is very cryptic, but trust me, it is a long story and if you are going to get a new job, you don’t have time to hear my sad story.’ You know? I did not realize until right now that she was talking about me... Oh my god, Tessa. How did I not realize that until right now?” Covering my mouth, I let the tears fall. 

“When is the last time you told this story, Mariah?” Tessa asks as she scoots closer, wraps her arms around me from behind, while I let my body relax into her. 

“I’ve never told this story, Tessa. I think about it sometimes, but I have never told anyone.”

“Well, I’m honored you are willing to share it with me,” Tessa says, while she runs her hands soothingly through my hair. “And that is why you didn’t realize she was talking about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, at the time, how could you know that, and you haven’t thought about the details as much, just the story as a whole, since.”

“I guess your right. So anyway... I went back everyday for a week. The first few times, I just hung out at a booth. Then one day, Sharon said she had to run out to make a bank deposit and asked me watch the bar. I was floored. I mean, I had never been given that much trust. So I was a little scared, but I did it. She was only gone for 20 minutes, but the place didn’t burn down. She seemed very happy about that, and asked me if I could do it again the next day.”

“She was easing you into the job.” Tessa muses, “I must say, your mom sounds amazing. I wish my mother was like her.” I hear the note of hurt in her voice and file it away to ask her about her family later.

“She really is amazing, Tessa. I know she gave me up, but I feel like we have such a strong relationship now that maybe it was supposed to be this way. I don’t know...” I slip away into my thoughts, content to relax in her arms. She is running her fingertips gently up and down my arm and it’s amazing how at peace I feel. “Thank you, Tessa.” I whisper.

“For what?”

Turning in her arms, I look up at her. “For today. For listening. For how you make me feel...” Reaching up I run my fingers across her cheek and move her hair from her face. I watch as her eyes search mine, before she leans into my touch. 

“And how do I make you feel Mariah?” There is no suggestion in her voice. It is just a question, as if she doesn’t see how much this time with her means to me. 

“Tessa, you have to know by now that you make me feel... alive. For the first time in my life, I am letting down these walls that have protected me from the world. The barricades that kept me safe, but didn’t let me live. You have shown me a different way. A better way. I don’t know what is going to happen in the future, but these past 5 days have been the best of my life. And I have you to thank for that.” 

The smile that spreads across her face makes my heart speed up, skipping beats in the best possible way. “You know what I think?”, she muses. “I think your walls may not have been a bad thing. They kept you safe. You said so yourself. But, it is time for you leave them behind. You don’t need them anymore. What I see,” she pulls me closer to her, our faces inches apart, “is a woman who has so much to offer. You have passion, and kindness, and love. You have spent so much time pretending to not be effected by the world around you, but your tears at the natural beauty around us, show me your soul. The love you have for your mother, through her limitations and past hurts, show me your capacity to love. Your willingness to step into unchartered territory, show me your fire. You are amazing Mariah. I am just so grateful you have chosen to show me all of you.”

Tears, once again, mist my eyes. Could it be that she is right? I don’t have time to really dwell on her words, though. I watch as her eyes, drift to my lips. I watch as her tongue darts out to wet her lips. In a single heartbeat, my thoughts break from contemplative, to one of desire. A singular, all consuming desire to finally kiss this magnificent woman. Scooting closer to her still, I allow my fingers to stiffen in her hair.

“Tessa...please.” It is all I can say. It is enough.

Slowly, Tessa closes the gap between us. When I finally feel her lips settle on mine, I nearly gasp at the softness of her lips. I knew this would be different. I knew that when we finally gave in and allowed this moment to happen, it would be amazing. What I didn’t know, what I was not prepared for, was how right this would feel. Our kiss is tentative, soft, exploring, but it feels like I am reacquainting myself with something that was always supposed to be mine, but I lost along the way. 

Tightening my hand in her hair, I pull her closer, as I reach my other hand to her side. I have to feel more of her. I hear her whimper, and I’m scared I have hurt her, pulled her hair to hard. I pull away, embarrassed at my lack of control. 

Looking down, I mutter, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...”

Her finger dips under my chin, gently pulling it back up to look at her. What I see sets my world spinning. Her eyes are dark and intense. A low growl starts in her chest before moving out her lips. She slowly shakes her head, a small smirk ghosted across lips. “Do not apologize for making me feel like this, Mariah. If you feel the need to apologize, do so for stopping.” She winks at me, and it is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. 

I scramble to sit in front her, my legs thrown over hers. Finally settled, I place both my hands on either side of her face and pull her lips to mine again. Only this time, there is nothing tentative about our kiss. I open my mouth and let her tongue invade my mouth. I am amazed at how sensual this feels. I am lost is sensation as her tongue strokes mine, before flicking up to the roof of my mouth. Gasping for air, I lean back and look at her. I realize she is just a shocked as I am. Her chest is heaving and she looking up at me with hooded eyes, like she wants to devour me. 

“Holy fuck,” she breathes, and then runs her lips down my jaw to my neck, sucking gently. I have never felt so amazing. From my head to my toes, I am on fire, a fire that is quickly growing in intensity. 

“Jesus Tessa, is it always like this?” I am shamelessly pressing my body into her, needing to feel more of her. I feel her shake her head as she sucks my earlobe in her mouth. With a soft ‘pop’, she pulls away.

“Not in my experience, this is unlike anything I have ever experienced. But...” she stops and runs her finger tips across my lips.

“But what, Tessa.” I push before taking her fingertip in my mouth, gently biting. I watch as she closes her eyes, groaning as she lets her head fall back. Unwilling to let this opportunity slip, I lean forward and run my tongue from the hollow of her throat to her pulse point. I bite her gently. 

“Oh, God....” her breath quickens and I feel her lift me up and settle me back on the blanket. Her body comes down to lay on top of me, and the weight of her on top of me is delicious. In a moment of clarity, I move from her neck and look into her eyes. “But, what...”

Embarrassment flushes her face and it is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. “Ok, please don’t freak out.” I nod, knowing that whatever she is about to say could not freak me out. She slowly lets out a breath, as she cradles my head in her hand. “I have known since the moment I met you, that you were special. I can’t explain it, but I looked in your eyes, and I felt this connection with you, some inexplicable force that told me, I had to know you. I have never felt that before, Mariah. So no, I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that it is not always like this. This is special... you, are special.”

I gasp, searching her eyes, knowing I will find no insincerity there. I know because I felt it too. I felt it then, and that feeling has only multiplied since. I smile and slowly nod, words unable to make their way out. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her closer, reaching my head up to meet hers. When her lips meet mine again, overwhelmed by her kiss, my body singing with the need to have her impossibly closer. Suddenly she pulls back and pushes to her knees, while running her hand through her hair. 

“What? Are you ok?” Frantically, I search her face. 

She looks at me, breathing heavily and says nothing for a few seconds. “Oh, I’m good... Too good.” She smirks, and I get it. 

“Mmmmm, is there a problem, Tessa?” I say, running a finger down her stomach. 

“Uhhhh, no. No problem.” She says, as I feel her stomach muscles twitch beneath me. “But unless you want this to develop beyond kissing, you and I need to get out of here.”

“What if I did? What if that is exactly what I want?” I’m being pushy and daring, but looking into her hungry gaze, I know she doesn’t mind.   
“Oh, god, thats not fair, Mariah. I want that more than you know, but not here. There is one more place I want to show you anyway. It is getting late, and it will take us at least 45 minutes to get there. I know you will love it.”

I watch her, her breathing still ragged, her eyes still dark with desire. “Are you doing this because you don’t think I’m ready? Because I ran that first night?”

She doesn’t hesitate with her answer. “That is defiantly part of it. I never want to put you in a position where you regret any of your time with me. But, the other part of it is that I truly want you to see the last place I wanted to show you. “

I nod. How can I argue with that? Slowly, I stand, and then reach my hand down for her to grasp as I pull her up. “Thank you. I know you are looking out for me. And maybe, here...now,” I waive my hand around our picnic, “perhaps it wouldn’t be the best idea. But please know, I wouldn’t regret it. How could I? I knew I wanted you before we left the boat. Now... after getting the smallest taste of what we would be like together? There is no way I could regret that.” Running my hands over her chest, just above the swell of her breasts, I grasp her shirt and pull her towards me. I kiss her, hungrily, trying to convey, just how much I mean the words coming out of my mouth. She whimpers and steps closer so that not an inch of our bodies are not touching, deepening the kiss I started. When my toes curl, and it is clear that this has the potential to ignite again, I push her away, grasping for clarity, and breath.   
“Mmm, hmmm. Well, we had better go, or we will never get off this cliff.” I bend down and start picking up our picnic gear. 

“Yes, I suppose your right.” She laughs and shakes her head. When everything is picked up and packed on the bike, she passes me the helmet. “You ready to get out of here?” 

“Yep! I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me next.”


End file.
